


Running To The Future

by SwinginSass



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Children, Developing Relationship, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Lonely Steve Rogers, Love, Parenthood, Past Abuse, Protective Steve Rogers, Single Parents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-04-23 15:27:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 25,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14335464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwinginSass/pseuds/SwinginSass
Summary: In the eight months since Siberia, Steve has been searching for something, a different path, somewhere to belong. Arriving in a small town near Seattle Washington, he meets a single mother and her daughter and finds a new purpose. But can it last?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: I do not own any Marvel characters or storylines. I do not know if this story will work with the new Infinity Wars film, but I can hope :)

“Hi.”

Steve looked up from his sketch pad at the sound of a young voice. There was a little girl about four years old in front of his table. She was wearing a blue dress with birds on it, black tights and a purple sweater. Her curly blonde hair was tied in messy pigtails and her blue eyes were watching him, waiting for a response.

“Hello.” His voice felt rough from a lack of use, but she didn’t seem to care as she flashed him a wide grin.

“What are you drawing?” she asked, coming closer, her head barely reaching the height of the table.

Steve looked at his sketch, deciding it was safe to show her. He set down his pencil and held it up, surprised when she climbed up on the orange vinyl diner bench beside him to look more closely.

“Wow you’re really good,” her gaze was intent on the pencil sketch. It was a stark image, the near empty landscape in Siberia, the Hydra base a distant building in the background. He hadn’t been able to forget the image, every time he closed his eyes he saw Bucky and Tony and the cold day that everything changed. 

It had been about eight months since the battle against Tony, technically 7 months, 3 weeks and 2 days. After leaving Bucky in Wakanda in cryogenesis and ensuring the team was released from prison with the aid of T’Challa, he had gone off the grid. He had been moving around the country almost aimlessly, staying in each place for a few days to a few weeks. Taking jobs on and off, usually construction or other manual labour, had given him some money and filled his time, but thankfully he had enough money saved that he was still living off the cash he had stashed. He had arrived in Washington a few days earlier and headed to the mountains rather than the bigger city of Seattle. In some ways it was easier to hide in cites; sure there were more people to recognize him, but there was a degree of anonymity in a larger population. However he needed peace, he needed to get away from the bustle of a city. Running was becoming exhausting and though he was loath to admit it, he was lonely. He missed being part of a team; the Avengers may have been people thrown together by their abilities, but they were friends. It had been months since he had had a real conversation with anyone. So he decided to head out of the city, try and find a place to settle down for a little longer. Hopefully his beard would prevent anyone from recognizing him here. 

He’d pretty much stumbled on the Town of Harper. It was a few hours from Seattle, in the foothills of the Cascade Mountains. There was something about it that spoke to him so he’d stopped at the diner for coffee and to get a better sense of the community. 

And here he was, with a child now holding out her hand for him to shake. Steve hesitated a moment before taking her tiny hand which was absolutely dwarfed by his.

“My name is Lily. Mommy says that shaking hands is how grown ups say hello when they meet each other. I’m not a grown up yet but I thought I should practice for when I am bigger. What’s your name?”

All of this information was delivered in about five seconds. It took him a moment to catch up and then try not to laugh. His mother would have said Lily had moxie. Having more fun than he had in a long time, he responded, “I’m Steve.”

“Lillian Carrie Bennet, what have I told you about bothering the customers.” The firm voice came in the form of beautiful blonde woman clad in a navy blue knee length waitress dress, with a white apron tied around her narrow waist. She was obviously Lily’s mother as the resemblance was strong. Her hands were on her hips as she stared at Lily, who looked chagrined. It took him back to a memory of his mother looking at him and Bucky like that when he was young and again he had to hold in his laughter. 

“You said not to bother them,” Lily’s voice was quiet and it made Steve a little sad. “But Steve was showing me his drawing.” She held up his sketch, “look Mommy. Steve is really good.”

She looked impressed, but was firm. “He is very good so we should leave him to work on it. Come on Lily.” She held out her hand expectantly.

Lily sighed and set down his sketchpad. “Bye Steve,” she murmured as she crawled off the bench.

He couldn’t bear to see her looking so forlorn, “Ma’am, it’s fine. She’s not a bother.” The excited look on Lily’s face removed any concern that lingered. “If it is alright with you, she is welcome to sit with me.”

“Are you sure Mr…?”

“Winters, but please call me Steve Mrs. Bennet.” Steve had changed his last name in honour of Bucky when he went into hiding. Tony would still likely be able to find him if he wanted, but so far there had been no contact. Not that Steve expected it; their friendship seemed to be irreparably damaged.

“It’s Miss.” He was inordinately pleased that she was unmarried, more than he should have been given that they’d barely spoken to each other. “Please call me Emily.” She looked uncertain, “are you sure?”

“Yes I am. I was about to order food so I’ll be here for a little while.”

“Alright.” Emily knelt beside Lily, “what do you say to Steve?”

“Thank you Steve. I’ll go get my crayons so I can draw too.” She was nearly vibrating with excitement as she ran behind the counter.

Emily went to stand and Steve rushed to his feet, holding out a hand to help her up. She looked at him surprised before placing her hand in his. He pulled her up gently, making sure to rein in his strength. Once she was upright, she let go of his hand with a quiet, “thank you” and a slight blush. They were close enough that he could see the flecks of green in her blue eyes and the hints of red in her honey blonde curls. Like Lily, her nose was covered in freckles. Steve appreciated that she didn’t cover up her natural beauty with makeup.

“Mommy, where is my backpack?” Lily’s voice broke any connection as they both laughed lightly. 

“Behind your coat Lily.” Emily shook her head with a wry smile, “my little artist. She loves to draw and colour, so this is a dream for her.” Gesturing to his sketch, “you really are amazing. The detail makes it so real, but the emotion really brings it to life. I feel cold and lonely just looking at it.”

“Thank you. I was going to art school for a year, but had to leave for work.” Steve had no idea why he told her that, he rarely talked about his life before the procedure, but he felt immediately comfortable with Emily. Lily’s return spared him any further surprise release of information. She crawled up on the bench again, across from him now, holding her own crayons and paper.

“Alright Lily, have fun. Steve, I’ll be back in a few minutes for your order.” Emily hurried away feeling her cheeks starting to burn. She ducked into the kitchen, leaning against the wall. She let out a slow breath, _Mr. Winters is so attractive. And kind._ It had been quite a long time since she had been attracted to a man, the feeling of butterflies in her stomach was a little disconcerting. 

“You alright Emily?” Billy, the cook, asked her, a note of concern in his voice.

She laughed lightly, opening her eyes, taking in his grease splattered apron and worried eyes. “I am good Billy, just needed a moment of quiet.”

“Wouldn’t have anything to do with that tall drink of water that Lily’s sitting with,” Tess, the other waitress and Billy’s wife, leaned in the pickup window and teased her.

“Shh,” Emily felt her face burn again and she hoped that Steve didn’t hear what Tess said.

“Don’t worry. They are too engrossed in each other to hear anything.” Tess held out her hand for Emily to take, which she did. “It’s alright to be attracted to him Emily. You are a young woman who has been through a lot in your life, but don’t let that stop you from taking chances.”

“We literally just met Tess. He is very kind to Lily, but that’s it. There is no way that he would be interested in me.”

“Now why not?” Billy asked. “You are kind, beautiful, a wonderful mother…”

He probably would have continued if Emily hadn’t stopped him. “Thank you Billy. And Tess. I don’t know what I would do without you both.” Tess and Billy had been a lifeline for her and Lily since she moved to Harper two years ago. 

When she’d arrived, she was a mess. A twenty five year old with a toddler who had just escaped an abusive marriage – she had nothing left, she felt like nothing. A shelter for abused women and children had helped her leave Florida and Emily had just kept driving, trying to escape the memories. Harper was meant to be just another stop before continuing on. It ended up being a lifeline. Emily had stopped at the diner for a rest and to get some food. It must have been close to 10 at night so she was pretty much the only patron. And Lily, her poor baby, was so tired and just wouldn’t stop crying and then she couldn’t stop crying. Tess sat down beside her and just held her. Her whole story had come out, but instead of judgement or pity, Tess and Billy had offered help and support. They gave her the spare room in their home, long empty since their daughters had moved out and married, and convinced the diner owner to hire her as a waitress. They had supported her when she filed for divorce and moved into her own place. More than that though, they had helped her find herself again, find value in herself. Her own parents had died in a car accident when she was 19 and Tess and Billy had become surrogates in that role. She could never thank them enough.

“You and Lily are a part of our family now,” Tess squeezed her hand. “Now get back out there, make me proud.”

Emily couldn’t help but laugh despite her embarrassment. It didn’t help when Billy gave her a thumbs up as she left. Shaking her head lightly, she gave herself a pep talk as she returned to back booth where Steve and Lily were sitting. Despite Tess and Billy’s kind words, she really didn’t think Steve was interested in her. Besides she had never seen him before so it was unlikely he was a local, just someone passing through. He might be the most gorgeous man she’d ever seen but she had no interest in one night stand or a brief affair. She didn’t get the sense that Steve was interested in that either.

She thought she had been doing a good job convincing herself that there was nothing there other than a normal attraction to a handsome man until Steve looked up and locked eyes with her. She nearly stumbled when he flashed her a shy smile. Thankfully he quickly turned his attention back to Lily who was asking him a question with her usual exuberance. Stopping at their table, she waited until he had answered Lily’s question, something to do with how dogs find their way home if they get lost. Emily wasn’t surprised by the theme of her question. Her preschool class was learning all about animals and Lily was nothing if not curious. “How are you two doing?” 

“Great Mommy! Steve knows so much stuff. And he’s going to draw a picture of me.” Lily was so happy that Emily couldn’t help but smile. Since moving here, she generally was a happy child, her memories of her father limited and fleeting. However she didn’t tend to warm quickly to strangers; it usually took repeated exposure to someone and her mother’s reassurances before she accepted them. With Steve though, it was immediate; Lily sought him out. If nothing else, Emily was grateful to Steve for that. 

Maybe that’s why her comment came out a bit flirtatiously. “Is that so Steve? Do you know lots of stuff?”

Emily was surprised to see him blush a little, “I know a little.”

Not wanting to embarrass him anymore or herself, given that she hadn’t flirted since she was a teenage, she asked, “have you decided what you want to order?”

“I’ll have a burger and fries please.”

“Can I have a burger too Mommy?”

“Lily, you just had lunch two hours ago. Are you hungry already?” She nodded. “Alright I will get you a snack, but no burger. You don’t want to ruin your appetite. You have dinner with Tess and Billy tonight.”

“Thank you Mommy.” Lily turned back to her drawing. 

Emily was struck for a moment at how big her little girl was getting. Shaking off her thoughts, she looked at Steve, “I’ll put your order in. It should be up soon.”

“Thank you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Emily wiped down the counter and cleared the empty coffee mugs and plates. It was approaching 7 and the dinner rush was pretty much over; she expected it would be quiet for the rest of the evening. Tuesday nights were not usually very busy so Beth, who was covering the evening shift, should be able to handle it on her own. There were a few high school students including Beth who picked up the evening shifts, which Emily was grateful for as it meant she rarely missed tucking Lily into bed. She had about 10 minutes left before she could go pick up Lily from Tess and Billy’s. They truly had adopted them into their lives, always taking Lily for dinners when Emily had to work the dinner shift and they didn’t.

Glancing at the remaining customers to see if anyone seemed in need of anything, her gaze caught on Steve. He was still there in his booth, sketching away. It was funny; for such a large and noticeable man, he really faded in to the background, rarely speaking or making eye contact with anyone, barely even moving other than to sketch. 

Unable to resist, she approached him quietly, stopping at the table. She could sense that he noticed she was there, but he didn’t say anything, just let her observe. Emily let her eyes move over him. He was dressed simply, in a well-worn grey wool sweater and khakis, but the clothes did nothing to disguise the strength she’d felt when he had helped her stand. His hair was dark blonde, just a bit darker than hers, a little long with a couple pieces insistently falling on his forehead, and his beard was well trimmed. He looked relatively young, late twenties or early thirties, but his bearing, his eyes, seemed much older. Like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Finally looking at what he was sketching, she was astonished by the likeness to Lily that he’d achieved in such a short time.

Steve watched her out of the corner of his eye as she assessed him, feeling a little nervous as he waited for her to speak. It had been a long time since someone had looked at him so intently, at least with no desire to gain a military advantage. When she spoke, it almost startled him.

“You have captured her so well,” she reached out to touch the sketch, but then dropped her hand, “it’s beautiful.” 

Steve blushed, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, “it’s been awhile since I drew a portrait.”

“You could never tell.” She shifted her gaze from the sketch to his face as she sat down across from him. “I can’t thank you enough for your kindness to Lily today. I normally wouldn’t have her here all day, but her daycare had to close unexpectedly for the week due to a burst pipe. All of her regular sitters were busy so she ended up here. You made her day, drawing with her, answering all of her questions.” Lily had nearly been in tears when she left with Tess and Billy, wanting to stay with Steve.

“I liked all of her questions and drawing with her.” It really was the most relaxing day he had had since before Siberia. “I should be the one thanking you. You chose to trust me with your daughter, that means a lot to me.”

“I was watching all day,” Emily admitted. “As much as I am sure that you wouldn’t do anything…”

“You’re her mother, it’s your job to protect her. Believe me, I understand protecting people you care for.” As soon as he said it, he wished he could take it back. There was something about this woman that made him open his mouth when he shouldn’t.

Emily sensed that he regretted sharing that and changed topics, “are you new in town or just passing through?”

“I haven’t decided yet,” Steve offered. “I’ve been exploring America, trying to…,” he wasn’t really sure actually.

“Trying to find you, find your place.” He nodded surprised that she could put it into such simple words. She shrugged, “I know that feeling well. When I came to Harper, I was lost.” Emily put her hand over his and they both relished the connection. “This town, the people, I found myself again. Maybe you can too.” Releasing his hand, she stood, leaving him with a smile, “I have to go pick up Lily. I hope I see you again Steve.”

He watched her go, pondering what she’s said, what her story was. For the first time in a long time, he felt hopeful.


	2. Chapter 2

Steve pushed open the door to the diner, stepping inside to escape the cold morning air. The early December weather had brought a dump of snow last night and a cold wind. He had ended up finding a motel rather than staying in his truck. No matter how long it had been since being discovered in the ice, he was not a fan of the cold. He quickly scanned the diner for Lily and Emily. It was pretty empty, not that he was surprised as he’d planned to arrive outside the busiest time. It was too early for the lunch rush and too late for the breakfast crowd. The older, red headed waitress from yesterday was pouring coffee for an older gentleman at the counter, Tess he believed her name was. He didn’t see Lily or Emily though and he felt the disappointment mount. He hadn’t realized how much he was counting on them being here. His disappointment was short lived as the door from the kitchen swung open and both girls came spilling out, laughing.

Lily caught sight of him first, her face blossoming into a wide grin. “Steve!” she ran at him, arms outstretched. He went down on a knee and she threw herself into his embrace, arms and legs wrapping around him. The weight of her little body, the trust she had in him, it soothed a part of his soul that had been long tormented. He returned her hug and stood, holding her tightly. Glancing up at Emily, she was watching them with a gentle smile on her face. 

She approached the pair of them as he stood up, “it is good to see you again Steve. We weren’t sure you were coming back.”

“Oh yes Steve, I’m so glad you’re back,” Lily seemed to hug him even tighter at that, her voice muffled against his shoulder. “Mommy said you didn’t know if you were going to stay yet.”

“Well I still haven’t decided what I am going to do yet,” Steve didn’t want to get their hopes up, in case he decided to leave. “But I couldn’t leave without finishing my sketch of you Lily.” She released him slightly so she could look at him. “If it’s alright with your mom, I thought we could draw again today.” 

“Yay.” She wiggled so that he would set her down and ran off to get her colouring book, leaving Steve and Emily alone.

They were silent for a moment, Steve not sure what to say. His thoughts had been full of Emily and her sweet smiles all night and now in front of her again, he felt tongue tied.

“I guess I’ll have to try harder,” Emily spoke first.

“Try harder?” Steve was confused by her comment. 

“To convince you to stay.” A blush blossomed on her cheeks as soon as she said it, but she didn’t take it back. 

Steve couldn’t contain his grin, “I’m looking forward to that.” They were interrupted by Lily, who dragged Steve over to their table, as she called it. 

Emily bit her lip nervously as she watched him go. There was something about him that made her far more forward than she’d ever been before. It was disconcerting to be honest and set her a bit on edge. 

“Are you going to stand there all day or get that boy some coffee?” Tess’s voice startled her, and she turned away quickly. 

Moving behind the counter, she grabbed a mug and filled it, her hands shaking slightly. 

“Don’t overthink it dear,” Tess patted her hand gently. “There is no pressure to make something happen. If it does, wonderful. If it doesn’t, then he is simply a nice man who has made you and Lily smile. Which doesn’t happen enough.” 

Emily faced her. “I am happy,” she insisted. “The happiest I have been since my parents…,” she trailed off.

“I know. And you don’t need a man to be happy, your happiness is your own. But cutting yourself off from having relationships isn’t the future I hope for you and it can’t be what your parents hoped for you.”

“How do you always know the right thing to say?” Emily hugged her.

“I raised two daughters. Now get over there.” Tess nudged her in Steve’s direction. “He hasn’t taken his eyes off you since you can over here. Better put him out of his misery.”

Emily glanced over at him and could see him watching with worried eyes. She picked up the mug and grabbed a menu, walking over to Steve who never looked away.

“Is everything alright?” he asked as soon as she was there, the concern in his voice warming her.

She nodded, “it is, I promise.” It was true, she was going to follow Tess’s advice as best she could. Emily set the coffee and menu down. “May I see the sketch today?” He handed her the sketch pad, flipped open to Lily’s image, and she gasped. It had been beautiful last night, but he had added depth and detail. It was her daughter jumping off the page. “Tess, come look at this.”

Emily held out the image for Tess to see. “Oh my word,” her eyes filled with tears. “Young man, you are very talented.”

“Thank you ma’am,” Steve blushed, unused to sharing his art with other people.

“You could make a living doing this Steve,” Emily insisted, handing him back the pad, as Tess left them.

Steve shook his head, “I like drawing, it’s calming. I am not sure I want to put a business pressure on it.”

“That makes sense.” Emily knew that having that kind of escape was essential, something just for you. For her it was reading, travelling all over the world through the pages of a great novel. And writing, she always dreamed of writing children’s books.

“You should do a drawing of Mommy next Steve,” Lily suggested, looking up from her own drawing.

Emily shook her head, “you don’t have to do that Steve. I am sure you have many inspirations for your work, we don’t need to monopolize your time.” Lily pouted for a moment, but stopped with her mother’s firm look and turned back to her paper. Emily felt the need to escape and said as she moved away, “I’ll be back soon to see if you want anything to eat.” 

“Wait Emily,” he gently grabbed her hand before she could leave. This was the second time he had held her hand and again she felt a spark of connection at his touch as silly as she felt for thinking it. Their hands just seemed to fit together. She was so distracted looking at their joined hands that she nearly missed him saying, “I would be honoured to sketch you if you’d allow me.”

Emily didn’t trust her voice so she nodded and he sent her a happy grin. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve drew with Lily all day. It was a ridiculous but Emily was a little jealous of her daughter, she got to spend so much time with Steve. Even though she couldn’t spend a lot of time with them, she could feel his eyes on her throughout the day, observing her then directing his attention to his sketchpad. He never let her see the image though.

He returned again on Thursday arriving pretty much the same time as them, having asked Emily about her schedule the day before. He and Lily holed up in their booth, talking about everything and nothing. Whenever Emily had a break she joined them, enjoying the interaction between them. Lily was flourishing under Steve’s attention and he was lighter, less burdened by his past. In a moment of weakness, she imagined a world where Steve was Lily’s father and her ex had never existed, but Emily pushed the thought away immediately. The past couldn’t change so it did no good to pretend, besides she still had a job to do. 

She was clearing some lunch dishes when she heard, “hello Emily.”

She turned and saw Kate Henshaw, the children’s librarian, coming in. “Kate, what a surprise. We doesn’t usually see you for lunch.”

“I was having a lunch with Bob at the station and had a few extra minutes before heading back to work.” Bob was a police officer and whenever their schedules were compatible, they would sneak away for a private lunch. It was so sweet that Emily was a little jealous. “I know the daycare has been closed this week and I figured Lily would be here with you, probably running you ragged. I picked a couple books I thought she would like.” She pulled the books from her bag.

“That is incredibly kind of you Kate.” Kate had become a great friend since Emily moved to Harper. She and Lily had spent many hours at the library, taking advantage of many of the children’s programs, which is where she met Kate and her daughter, Alexa. Though Alexa was quite a bit older than Lily, they had still bonded and often read together at the library. “Come over and see her for a minute, and you can give them to her yourself.” 

Emily led her over to Steve and Lily’s table. “Look who is here Lily.” 

“Miss Kate!” Lily hopped down to give Kate, who knelt on the ground, a hug. “What are you doing here?”

“I brought you some books in case you get bored until daycare opens again.”

“Thank you.” Lily flipped through the three books Kate had brought, one on animals, one Robert Munsch book and one on drawing for kids, which made her very excited. “Look Steve, a drawing book,” she climbed back up and held it out to him. Kate glanced up at Emily as she stood, her eyes full of questions. Emily understood her confusion. Since moving to Harper, Emily hadn’t dated anyone. Honestly she avoided most men for the most part. So for Lily to be sitting with a man that Kate had never seen before and Emily to be treating it as a normal practice, was definitely out of place.

Feeling a little shy, Emily introduced them, “Steve, this is my friend Kate Henshaw. Kate, this is Steve Winters. He is new in town, thinking about staying,” she smiled at him.

He stood up and shook Kate’s hand, “nice to meet you ma’am.”

“You too Steve. How are you enjoying Harper?”

“Very much. I’ve only been here a few days, but it seems perfect,” he seemed to subconsciously look at Emily, making Kate smile.

“I’ve got to get back to work, so I hope I’ll see you around Steve.” 

“You too.” He sat back down with Lily looking at her book as Emily and Kate walked away.

“I think we need to go out for drinks Emily and you can catch me up,” Kate grinned at her. “That man is gorgeous.”

Emily blushed bright red, unable to respond for a second. “He is so kind. But I don’t even know if he is staying.”

“Well if he does decide to stay, Bob and I have that bachelor apartment above our garage empty. The last renter left over a month ago and we haven’t looked for anyone new yet. If you trust him, then we’d be happy to rent to him.”

“Thank you. I’ll tell him.” Emily waved goodbye then turned back to look at Steve and Lily. Lily was gesturing wildly and Steve was watching her intently with a smile on his face. Maybe it was worth giving this a shot, seeing where this could go. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Afternoon Mayor,” Emily greeted an older gentleman, as she was topping up Steve’s coffee. He took a seat at the end of the counter near Steve. “We have a wonderful fresh cherry pie today.”

“That sounds perfect Emily. I’ll have a slice with my regular sandwich.” 

Before going to put in the order, she gestured to Steve, “Mayor, this is Steve Winters. Steve, this is Mr. Kennedy, the Mayor.”

Steve stood and held out his hand to shake, “it’s nice to meet you sir.”

“You too Steve. Are you a visitor or new in town?” the Mayor took a sip of his coffee that Tess had just poured.

“I’ve been here a few days, thinking about staying.” Emily bit back a smile at his response, she seemed to making headway getting Steve to stay.

“And what do you do?”

“Mostly manual labour, construction.” 

The Mayor was quiet for a minute, then offered, “I think Jed from Farrow Construction is hiring right now. There are a lot of homes going up, a couple new subdivisions, and he is increasing the size of his crew. His office is on George St.” 

“Thank you Mayor,” he was grateful for the suggestion. Between the potential job today and the apartment yesterday, everything seemed to be falling into place to remain in Harper for awhile. “I will consider that.”

“Good.” The Mayor heartily smacked the counter. “We are always happy to welcome new people.”

“Here you go Mayor.” Emily set his sandwich on the counter. 

The Mayor bid Steve a good day and turned to his lunch and Emily, “where is your little one today?”

The kitchen door swung open before she could answer.

“Steve, Steve!” Look what I made you,” Lily held a plate up to him containing a slightly burned grilled cheese sandwich, not that Steve noticed the darker parts.

Kneeling down in front of her, he couldn’t contain the emotion in his voice, “you made this for me?” Lily had scurried off to the kitchen twenty minutes ago with strict instructions not to come in. He had no idea that she was doing this for him. He was usually the one taking care of others and here was this four year old taking care of him. Taking the plate from her and setting it on the table, he opened his arms for a hug and she threw herself in. “Thank you Lily.” 

Emily felt her eyes burn a little as her emotions overcame her. Her daughter’s selfless act and Steve’s pure joy over it was overwhelming, but in a good way. She could barely tear her eyes from them as Lily snuggled up against his side and he dug into his sandwich. Forced to go back to work as the lunch rush started, she didn’t get a chance to check in for awhile. When she did get a minute, she was surprised to see Lily asleep, using Steve’s leg as a pillow and covered in his jacket, as he was sketching.

“How in the world did she sleep through all that lunch noise?” Emily whispered. 

Steve grinned, responding quietly, “I don’t know. She fell asleep 20 minutes ago.”

Looking around and seeing that no one needed her in that moment, she sat across from him, happy to have a break. The Friday lunch rush was always a little crazier than any other weekday. Deciding to take a chance, she said, “I know you are still thinking about what you want to do Steve and I am not pressuring you. I just…I wanted to invite you over for dinner tomorrow. I don’t have any shifts this weekend and I don’t think Lily could go cold turkey not seeing you at all,” she teased then turned serious. “I would miss you too.”

“I would love to.” In that moment, he made up his mind.


	3. Chapter 3

Steve parked his truck on the street in front of the small bungalow. Taking a deep breath, he grabbed the small gift he’d bought for Lily and the completed sketch of Emily and headed to the front door. He was surprisingly nervous. A simple dinner with a woman and her daughter was something he was not used to. He’d barely talked to anyone since going underground and even before, as much as he loved the Avengers, they were his team and his family, but simple moments were few and far between. Here he was just Steve, he couldn’t hide behind the aura of Captain America. He liked it though, it almost felt like his life before the procedure, before the war; although he honestly probably never would have had the guts to speak to a dame like Emily. 

He was pulled back to the moment as Lily threw open the front door, her coat flapping and ran at him full tilt, shouting, “Steve!” Leaning down, he caught her as she threw herself at him, careful not to drop what he was carrying. “It took you forever to get here Steve. I have been waiting all day.”

“Lily, I told you he was coming at five,” Emily smiled at them from the small front porch, wrapping her arms around herself to ward against the cold. Looking at her, Steve realized it was the first time he had seen out in something different than her waitress uniform. She was in black tights with fluffy blue socks and a burgundy sweater dress that hugged all of her curves. Her hair was down rather than the ponytail that he was used to and even curlier than he expected.

“But it took forever for five to come.” Steve couldn’t help but laugh at Lily’s dramatic display, glad for the distraction from his appreciation of Emily.

Emily fixed him with a teasing glare, “oh laugh it up mister. I have been the one answering “is it five yet” all afternoon.” 

“And you are here now!” Lily cheered and hugged him tighter. 

“Come on in, it’s cold out here.” Steve followed her inside and set Lily down, looking around their space. The front entrance entered right into the living room, hooks along the wall to the right holding coats and bags. On the left was a sectional couch facing a bookshelf and a small TV hanging over the fireplace on the far wall, with a coffee table in front of it and an armchair finishing out the cozy seating area. Farther back was a table surrounded by four chairs and a door that must lead to the kitchen. It was a small space, the furniture worn, but it was warm and comfortable, with touches of Emily and Lily all around.

“Come on Steve I want to show you my room,” Lily grabbed his hand.

“Lily patience. Let him take off his coat.” Steve shrugged out of his jacket, hanging it up on one of the empty hooks, and toed out of his shoes. A layer of snow had fallen that day and he didn’t want to track wet footprints onto the carpet.

“Are you ready now?” Lily was vibrating with excitement, trying to be patient.

Steve set down the sketch and Lily’s present on the back of the couch and took her hand. He followed her to a small hallway on the right, the bathroom in front of them. Lily’s room was on the left, the walls painted a neutral beige, common to rentals, but Emily had clearly made it Lily’s room. The bed spread covered in flowers and stuffed animals were scattered over it. Lily’s drawings were stuck up all over the walls and he was honoured to see his sketch of her framed on the bedside table. 

“Do you like it?” she looked a little nervous as she asked.

“It’s great Lily.” He knelt down beside her, “it is a happy room, just like you.” 

She beamed at him and her gaze shifted behind him, “Steve likes my room Mommy.”

He stood and faced Emily who was watching with a soft smile, “that’s great Lily. Do you want to give him a tour of the rest of the house?”

“Come on Steve.” She took his hand and led him to the bedroom across the hall at the front of the house. “This is Mommy’s room.” Like Lily’s, the room was a neutral beige with a large bed against one wall, a green blanket covering it. There were pictures of Lily beside the bed and a novel on the pillow, but overall the room was understated and calming. 

Leading him out of the room, Lily headed to the kitchen at the back of the house. “And this is the kitchen.” It was a U-shaped kitchen, with cabinets and appliances that though not in their prime were clean and well cared for. There was a small table along the back wall by a door that led to the backyard. Through the window, Steve could see a family of snowmen wearing various hats and scarves.

“We built them today,” Emily noticed the direction of his glance. “We have a whole family, even a snow dog. Let’s go hang out in the living room, dinner should be ready in 20 minutes. I hope you like lasagna Steve,” Emily smiled at him. 

He nodded, “I love it.” Lasagna had been one of his favourite meals growing up and the smell coming from the oven was making his mouth water. He followed the girls back to the living room and sat on the couch, Emily sitting in the armchair, her legs curled up under her.

Lily didn’t sit yet. “I made you something Steve.” She went over to the table and grabbed a piece of paper. Handing it to him shyly, she climbed onto the couch beside him.

It was a picture of Lily, Emily and himself building a snowman. It was very well done for a four year old, though Steve was oblivious to the skill and completely focussed on the heart of it. “Lily I love it.” Deciding this was the perfect moment to share his news, he said, “I have the perfect place to hang this in my new apartment.”

It took a moment for them to understand his meaning. “You’re staying?” Emily tried to keep the unexplained joy she felt from bleeding into her words too much. 

“I took that apartment you told me about, signed the lease this morning. And I got a job with Farrow Construction, starting Monday.”

Lily gave him a tight hug, “I am so glad you’re staying Steve.”

“Me too Lily.” 

Emily was overcome with emotion and felt the need to escape, to gain some distance. Standing, she murmured, “I am going to finish dinner.” 

Steve watched her go, concerned about her abrupt departure. However he didn’t want to worry Lily so he reached for the gift he had brought for her. “Lily this is for you.” 

“You brought me a present?” her voice was awed. She stuck her hand in the bag and pulled out the set of 36 artist pencil crayons he had picked up from the local craft store. It was a simple gift but the look Lily gave him made it seem like he’d given her the world. “Thank you Steve,” her voice was awed.

“You’re welcome Lily. Why don’t you try them out and I will go help your mom finish dinner.” She scampered off to her room and Steve headed to the kitchen. Emily stood at the sink washing some lettuce, her back to him though he could tell she noticed when he entered. Over the week, he had noticed that she was very aware of her surroundings, almost like a soldier …or an abuse victim. His gut clenched at the thought. “Is everything alright Emily?”

She wiped the few tears that had escaped and turned to face him, with a small smile, “I’m fine.”

“That’s not true. I am sorry I sprung that news on you, you’ve been convincing me all week and I…,” he was not used to the feeling of disappointment spreading through him.

Emily interrupted him before he could continue, “Steve, I am happy you’re staying.” She flushed, embarrassment colouring her cheeks, “I am just overwhelmed at how pleased I am. It is not a situation I am used to.”

“Oh.” Steve wasn’t sure what to say in response, though his concern was now gone, pleasure filling the space. Not wanting to push her, he asked, “can I help you with anything?”

“I think everything is ready. If you’d like, you can set the table.” She pointed to the various cupboards and drawers with the necessary items. He pulled each item down and took them to the dining room table. 

Emily finished preparing the salad, the silence between them comforting rather than awkward after her admission. She gave him the salad bowl to take to the table and pulled out the lasagna, the cheese bubbly and popping.

“That smells amazing,” Steve’s mouth was watering, eager to dig in.

“Thanks.” Emily enjoyed cooking, trying out new recipes, but this was her mom’s lasagna recipe. “Do you want to go get Lily and I will bring this to the table.” 

Dinner was relatively quiet as they all tucked in to the lasagna. Lily finished first and filled the silence with chatter, telling Emily all about the present Steve brought her and Steve all about their snowman family. She had given them all names and quite the backstory including careers, marriages, world adventures.

Steve enjoyed every minute. It reminded him of long ago dinners before his mother passed with Bucky. And it ended much too soon. “Thank you so much for inviting me for dinner. Not that I don’t enjoy the food at the diner, but this is the best meal I have had in a long time.” Steve finally sat back full after his third helping.

“We are glad you could come Steve. Should we play some Pictionary, maybe watch a movie before bedtime?” Emily suggested, not wanting to let Steve go yet.

“Yay!” Lily unsurprisingly agreed as it was her favourite game.

“What is Pictionary?” Emily and Lily gave him an odd look. _It must be a well-known game given their surprise_.

“You are given a word and have to draw it for everyone else to guess. Kind of like charades with drawing,” Emily explained. Steve nodded, happy to spend more time with them.

“Lily why don’t you get the game ready while Steve and I clear the table.” Lily scurried off and Emily grabbed some of the dishes, Steve following her to the kitchen. They seemed to work seamlessly together, Emily packing away the leftovers and Steve rinsing the dishes then placing them in the dishwasher.

“Mommy, Steve, hurry up!” Lily called from the living room.

Emily laughed, “well you can tell who’s in charge in this house. You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”


	4. Chapter 4

Emily handed him a mug of tea and settled on the armchair, her legs tucked up underneath her, evidently her favourite position, hands wrapped around her own mug. “Well she’s asleep. Held on as long as she could but eventually those tired eyes closed. I think knowing that you are going to stay helped. She wasn’t worried that it was the last time she’d see you.”

“I hope I haven’t overstepped,” Steve’s experience with children was pretty much nonexistent before Lily. He felt a strong connection to her and to Emily, but in a way that worried him. What would happen when he had to leave, could he just leave them behind? She’d nearly been in tears when Emily told her it was time to get ready for bed after an hour of playing Pictionary, which had been a lot of fun, and a Disney movie, about a bow and arrow wielding princess. After her bath, Emily had brought her into the living room all cozy in her pajamas and they read a story together. It was everything Steve never let himself dream about since becoming Captain America. 

Emily seemed to sense his concern. “Steve, you haven’t overstepped. I am happy she connected with you, it doesn’t happen often. Honestly it is a handful of people she is comfortable with. Besides I don’t know what I would have done without you this week.” 

“I don’t know how you do it all alone. She is a ball of nonstop energy.”

“Oh there are days where my bedtime is five minutes after hers. Life of the single mother,” she shrugged. “I wouldn’t change her for the world though, she is the best thing in my life.” Pausing, she continued, “I really hope you don’t feel pressured though. I mean you basically took care of her all week. And I love that she wants to spend time with you, but it is not what you signed up for.”

“Emily, you didn’t push any of this on me. I could have said no. It would have been hard, I mean look at those puppy dog eyes,” he joked, gesturing to a picture of Lily. Turning serious, he spoke, “I can’t thank you enough for inviting me into your lives. It’s only been a couple days, but I have found something here that I have been looking for. And it is thanks to you.” 

Emily looked relieved and happy, though his next question quickly ended that. 

“May I ask where her father is?” Steve had seen no evidence of any man ever being in this home and Lily never mentioned her father. He was curious as to the role the man had in their lives, especially if he was going to be spending a lot of time with them. He regretted asking though as he saw the colour drain from Emily’s face. “Never mind, it is none of my business.” 

Emily collected herself for a moment. She could tell Steve what she told most people, that her Lily’s father wasn’t interested in being a part of their life and had left when Lily was young. It stopped people from asking more questions in most cases. She wanted to tell him the truth though. He was staying in town and given Lily’s affinity for him, and honestly her own, he would be a big part of their lives. Billy and Tess were the only ones that knew the full story and Kate knew the general situation. She was worried what he’d think of her though.

Deciding to open herself up to the risk, Emily cleared the emotion from her throat and spoke, “I’d like to tell you what happened, but it’s not an easy story.” He nodded but said nothing, letting her take whatever time she needed. “My parents died when I was in my first year of college, studying literature to become a writer. I was a mess for months. Both my mom and dad were only children and my grandparents had died young. I was alone. I met John about 2 months after their death. He was older, almost 30, and a lawyer. He had it all together and I found comfort in that.” Emily remembered that time, like it was yesterday, thinking she’d found a way out of the loneliness. Steve could tell that she was hurting and reached out for her hand, turning his body to face her. That single point of contact was an anchor that gave her the courage to continue.

“He proposed when I was 20, after about 6 months of dating. I didn’t notice anything big before our marriage, he was bossy and had a bit of a temper, but I thought he loved me and I was so alone that I thought I loved him. After we married though, it got bad really fast. He was verbally and physically abusive. He made me drop out of school, said he needed a housewife and that I’d never make it as a writer anyways. He pushed away whatever remaining friends I had. I barely left the house for three years.” She could feel her body shaking as she recalled the excruciating pain, the fear. Instead of escaping the loneliness, she was more alone than ever. 

Steve could feel her hand shaking and see the pain on her face. He was furious, the thought of someone laying a violent hand on Emily made him want to find her ex and make him suffer. 

“It took me awhile to get pregnant. Every month, when I got my…,” she paused, embarrassed but Steve squeezed her hand so she continued, “…my period, he would get so mad. Told me I was useless, couldn’t even do that right. I eventually got pregnant after our third anniversary, which stopped most of the physical abuse. He couldn’t have gotten away with it, with the frequent doctor appointments as it was a difficult pregnancy. The verbal abuse got worse though. I hope you have never experienced anything like it, but it breaks you down from the inside, makes you feel like you have no value. When I gave birth, things changed. John was unhappy because he wanted a son so he stayed away a lot more, didn’t want to be around a crying baby. He still beat me, but much less often. It may sound pathetic but I was almost happy. I had my sweet girl and she was my whole life. Six months after her first birthday, John came home one night blind drunk, raging about how I should already be pregnant again, that he wanted his son. He kept hitting me, knocking me to the ground, kicking me over and over. I just took it, tried not to cry out. I had fought back in the beginning and it had only made the beatings worse. Lily started crying though, she needed to be fed, and he turned in her direction. I fought then, he wasn’t going to touch her as long as I lived. I still don’t have any memory of what happened but when I woke up on the hallway floor a few hours later, I was terrified that he had hurt her.” Emily remembered the gut wrenching fear when she woke up, blood staining the carpet around her. It was silent. Emily had forced herself to her feet, struggling to the nursery. “She was fine, sitting in her crib sucking on her teddy just waiting for me. John was unconscious on our bed. I grabbed Lily and what few belonging I could carry and we went to a shelter for abused women. They helped us escape Florida and provided evidence of the abuse when I filed for divorce. I haven’t heard from him since that last night, everything was done though lawyers so that he wouldn’t know where we are. I found my way to Harper by chance. I never planned on staying but I met Tess and Billy and I found a home here.” Emily took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment, feeling her tears run down her face. In some ways, it felt like a release to share her story with Steve, but on the other hand, she feared his response.

“Emily, please look at me.” He lifted her chin with his free hand. Opening her eyes, she was pinned by his caring and expressive eyes. “Thank you for sharing your story with me. Thank you for sharing your daughter with me. And thank you for letting me into your home. I can’t imagine the strength it takes to allow me into your space after everything you have been through.”

“I trust you Steve. I trust you not to hurt us. I don’t know why,” she shrugged, “but I do.”

“I will endeavor to never hurt you,” he swore, as she hugged him. He meant his promise though a niggling voice in the back of his head whispered that he would inevitably hurt her if he left, or worse if his enemies found him. People close to him always seemed to get hurt, Bucky, Tony, Sam, Wanda, Clint, the rest of the team. He knew he would do anything to keep Emily and Lily safe and he had to hope that was enough.

Pulling back slightly, Emily wiped her tears with a small smile, “well tonight was a bit more emotional than I planned. You haven’t run yet so I will take that as a good sign.”

“Well I am a runner, but it is usually towards something not away,” Steve responded.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she blushed as his words, irrationally hoping he would run to her. “What’s that Steve?” she pointed to wrapped sketch, resting on the back of the couch. Steve realized that he had forgotten to give it to her in the Lily’s excitement to show him around.

“It’s for you. I finished your sketch.” He handed it to her nervously.

She gently removed the brown paper he’d wrapped the picture in. Letting it fall to the ground, she stared at the image in shock.

After a moment of silence, Steve couldn’t wait anymore. “What do you think?”

“Is this how you see me? I look beautiful.” It was a partial profile, her cheek resting on her hand as she was looking off to the right. Her hair was up in its usual ponytail and she had a subtle smile. Her eyes though, he had drawn them with so much emotion. 

“You are beautiful,” Steve responded simply, surprised that it came out so easily. He could lead a team in battle but he still felt like the underweight asthmatic boy when he talked to women, especially those he liked. He was pleased that she liked the picture. He’d spent hours perfecting the details, his sketch book was full of drafts. It had felt good to be drawing images beyond his past, freeing almost.

“It’s been a long time since I felt beautiful. Thank you Steve.” Setting the image down on the coffee table, she asked, “I don’t know if you have plans tomorrow but it is the Santa Claus parade on Main Street then my friends Tess and Billy from the diner are having a Christmas party. Do you want to come with Lily and I?” 

“Are you sure I wouldn’t be a bother?” The invitation was appealing, spending another day with Lily and Emily. And getting to know more people in Harper would be good as he had no desire to stay hidden away this time.

“No bother at all. Tess actually told me to invite you if you were going to still be in town.”

“Alright I’d love to. It’s been awhile since I celebrated Christmas.”

“How come?” Emily was curious about his story. He knew more about her life than most people, but she knew little about him. She saw the dark cloud come over his face. “Steve are you alright?”

He nodded, shifting back on the couch staring at the fireplace. Emily stayed quiet, letting him gathered his thoughts. 

Steve didn’t want to lie to her, but he couldn’t tell her who he was, for her own safety and selfishly for wanting to keep her in his life. He did want to talk to her though, it had been so long since he had had any meaningful conservation. So he modified the truth slightly, being purposefully vague. His voice was low when he spoke, “my parents died when I was young too, I barely remember my father. I lived with a friend, James, for a couple years then we both joined the army. There is not much time to celebrate when you are in a war zone, days kind of blend together. I haven’t been out of service very long, so I guess I haven’t gotten back into the swing of civilian life.”

“How long did you serve for?” Emily asked.

“About 10 years,” he responded, taking into account the years of actual service and ignoring the near 70 year gap in the middle.

Ten years, what a toll that must take, she thought, that explained the weight he carried. “Were you in Afghanistan?” 

“I really can’t talk about where I was or my missions.” He didn’t want to come up with stories of another war and this was the easiest way.

“I understand. It’s probably not something you want to relive anyways.” Focussing on his life after the army, she asked, “so you got out of the army and started travelling around the country?” 

He nodded,” I’ve been taking orders and fighting for so long. I needed to get away, go somewhere no one expected me to be anything that I was.” As he said the words out loud for the first time, he realized how true it was. It felt like everyone needed him to be Captain America, Steve Rogers was just an afterthought. Maybe that’s how he’d been treating himself too. There was something about Emily that just let him speak so he continued. “And I had a falling out with some friends over decisions I made.” A falling out was saying the least, he still remembered the look of betrayal on Tony’s face when he found out what Bucky had done. Steve hunched over, head in his hands.

Emily moved from the chair to the couch beside Steve. Hesitantly she put her hand on his back, ready to remove it if Steve needed the space. 

Instead of pulling away, he leaned into her. “I had to make a choice to protect James and hurt another friend. I don’t regret the choice but I let them all down.” Emily didn’t know what to say in response to his pain so she just wrapped her arm around his shoulders and held him tightly. His voice was quiet, “and I lost him anyways.” 

The grief stricken look on Steve’s face caused Emily’s stomach to drop, “oh Steve I am so sorry.”

“No he is alive…but he’s in a bad way. He’s in a coma until they know how to help him. And I am just running away.” Steve’s voice was full of self-loathing.

“No you’re not Steve.” He looked at her, surprised by her adamant tone. “You told me that you don’t run away from things, you run towards them. Steve, you have been fighting your entire life. And I may not have known you long, but I expect you always put everyone else first, you’re always protecting people. You aren’t running away from your past, you are running towards your future, finding yourself in this new world that you’ve entered.”

Despite not knowing anything about his past, Emily had managed to say the exact thing he needed to hear. He pulled her into a hug, “thank you Emily.”


	5. Chapter 5

Emily and Lily stood at the sidewalk on Main Street just outside the diner waiting for the parade to start. Steve had run inside to grab them all hot chocolate to combat the chill in the air. It was snowing lightly, the perfect ambience for the parade but quite cold. 

Emily bite back a yawn that was threatening to escape as she tightened her scarf. Steve had stayed until just after 2 am the night before; they had talked for hours, then not wanting the night to end yet she put on Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Arc as Steve had never seen it before, something that still blew her mind. He had been mortified when he realized how late it was but Emily really hadn’t minded. It had been a long time since she’d had such an enjoyable night with another grownup, a ridiculously attractive and sweet grownup. Morning had come early though, Lily waking her before 8 am.

The late night didn’t seem to have affected Steve. He showed up at their place at bright eyed just after lunch to walk over to Main Street together. He had blushed lightly and stammered a bit when Emily had opened the door, but Lily’s appearance had lessened his awkwardness. Lily was thrilled that he was going to be joining them. She hadn’t let go of his hand the entire walk over.

“Hello you two,” Tess greeted them as she and Billy made their way over. “Are you ready for an awesome Christmasy day?”

“It’s the best weekend ever!” Lily exclaimed. 

The adults all smiled at her then Tess led Emily a couple steps away leaving Billy to find all about the best weekend ever. “How was dinner last night with your young man?”

Emily blushed. “He’s not my young man,” she insisted, thought her mind fought the words. “But it was great. He decided to stay in Harper, he’s going to rent that apartment from Kate and he already has a job. He told us last night. Lily is over the moon.”

“Just Lily?” Tess asked.

“No not just Lily. I’m am happy he’s staying,” Emily admitted. “We talked for hours after she went to bed.”

Tess looked surprised, “really. Did you tell him about…?”

“I did, I told him everything. He just held my hand, let me get it all out. He was amazing.”

“Oh Emily that is wonderful.” Tess pulled her into a hug, “I am so proud of you.”

“Thanks for pushing me to take a chance. I actually wanted to ask you something about Steve.” Before she could continue though Steve emerged from the dinner balancing the drinks in his hands. He stopped short as he saw the two ladies staring at him.

“Hello,” his voice sounded a little uncertain.

“Tess you remember Steve,” Emily officially introduced them, freeing one of Steve’s hands from the hot chocolate delivery so that he could shake Tess’s hand as she expected he’d want to. His manners were impeccable. 

“Hello ma’am,” he stuck his hand out, but Tess pulled him into a hug, careful not to spill the hot drinks on either of them. Emily giggled at the surprised look Steve threw at her.

“None of that formal stuff Steve. We’re a family here and I suspect you are going to be a part of that family so please call me Tess.” Emily blushed again at Tess’s suggestion, hoping it wouldn’t scare Steve away. “And this is my husband Billy.” He stepped away from Lily and joined them, shaking Steve’s proffered hand.

“Hello sir,” Steve’s voice was respectful. These people were Emily and Lily’s family and he wanted to make a good impression. Billy kept a firm grip on his hand and stared at him silently, eyes hard. Steve could tell he was being assessed and he hoped he passed muster. 

Suddenly Billy grinned, slapping him on the back, “he seems like a good one Emily.”

Emily locked eyes with Steve as she said, “he is.”

Steve rubbed the back of his neck nervously. Everyone thought of Captain America as a good guy, it was gratifying that just Steve also merited the designation. “Would you like hot chocolate as well Tess, Billy? I can run back in before the parade starts.”

“No need. Billy prepared a blend of his special coffee for us,” she pulled a thermos from her purse. “I hope Emily invited you to our party tonight. It’s just a small get together of neighbours and friends to celebrate the start of Christmas season,” Tess said, as the four of them moved back to Lily as the sound of sirens signaled the start of the parade.

“That’s what I was going to tell you,” Emily laughed.

“Wonderful. We can get to know you better.” Tess’s voice was kind, but Steve could sense an edge to it as if warning him to be careful with Emily and Lily. He gave a slight nod in understanding, before his attention was stolen by Lily.

“’Mommy, Steve, look it’s starting.” She was bouncing on her toes, vibrating with excitement. She squeezed herself between Steve and Emily and grabbed both their hands, pulling them to the edge of the sidewalk. She hung on tight to their hands the entire parade, only letting go periodically to wave at different floats.

It was a small parade, under an hour, nothing like the insanity of the Thanksgiving Day parade Tony showed him in New York. The floats were simple flatbeds pulled by trucks, with presents and trees and tinsel decorating them. But it felt perfect to Steve, a balm to his soul. It seemed like the entire town was there and it was an atmosphere of joy unlike anything he’d felt in years. Emily must have been able to sense his peace as she kept catching his eye and smiling.

Suddenly Lily squealed, “look it’s Santa.” Steve looked down the street as the jolly red suited bearded man was guided down the street in a horse drawn carriage. All the children were yelling greetings and waving wildly, including Lily. She kept her eyes on Santa, until he disappeared behind the crowd of people filling the street signaling the end of the parade.

“Come on, let’s go see Santa,” Lily pulled them both by the hands, wanting to join the crowd.

“You just saw Santa?” Steve asked confused.

“Santa will be in the community hall so that all the kids can come see him and tell them their wishes,” Emily explained. “Tess, Billy are you going to come to the hall?”

“We better not. Some people will be coming over right away,” Tess said apologetically. “Can you say hi to Santa for me Lily?” Lily nodded. “Thanks doll. Emily make sure you take lots of photos. We’ll see you soon at our place.”

They headed over to the community hall, Lily swinging their hands as they walked and talked about the parade. 

Joining the line of kids and their parents, Steve felt surprisingly nervous. Drop him into a war zone, he could strategize and take the situation head on. Here he was intimidated, he didn’t know how to live a regular life. Emily on the other hand was in her element, introducing him to her friends and customers from the diner while still engaging with Lily. Steve felt a bit awestruck by her.

About 20 minutes later, they reached the front of the line. Lily’s excited energy had cooled and she seemed a bit nervous as Santa’s assistant led her forward. Emily pulled out her phone and was snapping photos as Lily greeted Santa and climbed on his lap.

“Hello.” Santa’s voice was rumbling and jolly, “what would you like for Christmas?”

“Can I please have a new drawing book?” she asked.

“That sounds like a great present. Is there anything else you would like?” Lily glanced at Emily and Steve then whispered in Santa’s ear.

Emily couldn’t hear what she was saying, however Steve’s serum enhanced hearing allowed him to catch a couple words over the screaming, joyful kids around him. He heard, “make mommy happy” and “keep Steve.” He was honoured to be a part of her wish and hoped he never let her down.

Santa glanced at them before responding, “well that is a little outside of Santa’s normal activities but I’ll do my best.”

Lily gave him a big hug, “thanks Santa.”

“You’re welcome.” Santa handed her a candy cane and she ran back to Emily and Steve.

“All good sweetie?” Emily held out her hand for Lily to take. 

She nodded and held out her candy cane, “am I allowed to eat this now?” Emily agreed, sugary snacks weren’t Lily’s everyday snacks but Christmas was a special occasion. Lily happily opened the package, finding the candy broken into three pieces. “Look mommy, a piece for each of us.” 

She handed each of them a piece, Emily thanking her. “Are you sure you don’t want to keep it Lily?” Steve asked.

Lily shook her head, “I want to share.” It was as simple as that to her.

“Thank you Lily.” Steve put the stripped candy in his mouth, the artificial sugary flavour bursting on his tongue and reminding him of long ago Christmases, his mother, Bucky, Peggy. 

Emily could tell he was lost in his memories, so she sent Lily to the craft table where Kate was making ornaments with all the kids. Gently putting her hand on his arm, she spoke quietly, “Steve are you okay?” He nodded, unable to put his thoughts in words. “Christmas can be a lot, there are so many happy families around and when you don’t fit in the mold, it is hard. The first Christmas after my parents died, I hid from the holiday and a couple months later I met John. I didn’t have a real Christmas until I came here. It’s alright if it’s been lost, you can always get it back Steve.”

“You always seem to know what to say.” He held her hand tightly, gratitude in his eyes. She blushed and looked away embarrassed. Steve noticed that she didn’t seem to accept compliments well, he would have to try and change that. Not here though. “Should we join Lily?”

They stayed at the community hall for about an hour. Steve with his artist’s eye soon became the advisor for every child’s tree ornament – more glitter, adding green, how to cut out snowflakes.

“He is amazing with them.” Kate said as they watched Steve seamlessly interact with the kids. Emily nodded distractedly, sipping from her hot apple cider, not wanting to look away. Steve’s large frame was dwarfing the chair he sat on, more suited to the kids than his 6 foot frame. But he showed no discomfort, the patience and kindness he’d shared with Lily endearing him to all the children. He’d been a little nervous to start, but it hadn’t lasted.

“You are in trouble girl,” Kate laughed.

“What?” Emily finally pulled her gaze from Steve to look at Kate who was grinning at her.

“You like him.” 

Emily thought about refuting the claim but it was true so she simply shrugged with a slight smile. “I’d better get Lily and Steve and head over to Tess and Billy’s. I’ll see you later.”

“Have a good time tonight.”

Emily put her hand on Steve’s shoulder, leaning over so he could hear her. “We should leave for the party if you are ready.” He nodded, bidding the kids goodbye. Emily tucked the ornaments he and Lily had made in her purse, knowing she would be shaking glitter out for weeks. Linking hands again, they walked out of the community hall and headed to the party.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a short chapter but I hope you like it.

Arriving at the party with Steve had resulted in a few stares from Tess’s guests. Whether it was the fact that he was an attractive and imposing figure or just simply that she had shown up with a man, Emily couldn’t be sure. After a few awkward introductions, everyone seemed to get over it and Emily and Steve relaxed enjoying the party. It was a great success, easily 25 people spread around the living and dining room – family, neighbours, co-workers, children running around. Christmas tunes were pouring through the speakers. Tess and Billy had outdone themselves on the food, finger food and desserts on every surface.

“Steve, Emily, can you help me with something in the kitchen?” Tess pulled them from their conversation with her neighbour, leading them to the quieter, back part of the house. Walking into the kitchen, Tess suddenly stopped and turned to face them. “Well would you look at that,” Tess was pointing over their head with a grin on her face.

Steve and Emily looked up and saw a spring of mistletoe tacked to the kitchen doorframe. Steve had a distant recollection of Bucky running around a Christmas party before the war with mistletoe,… getting all the girls to kiss him. Steve blushed hotly, glancing down at Emily who was glaring at Tess.

“Tess I thought mistletoe was banned after the Mayor and sheriff’s wife accidentally ended up under it a couple years before I moved here,” Emily muttered, completely embarrassed by Tess’s obvious machinations. It’s not like she didn’t want to kiss Steve, he was everything she dreamed about when she was young. But being pressured to kiss was something else entirely. Besides, the last time she kissed someone because she wanted to was very early in her marriage before she knew the kind of man her husband was. She didn’t even know if she could kiss someone without feeling fear. And that thought was painful.

Tess shrugged, with a cheeky grin, “I have no idea how it got there.” Picking up the bowl of chips, she said, “I’m going to deliver the snacks to the hoards. Be back in a minute.” She headed out the other door, chuckling to herself.

Emily watched her go, nervous to look at Steve now that they were alone in the room together. The situation felt so much more intense with Tess gone. Gathering her nerves, she peeked up at him. He looked just as nervous as she felt, rubbing the back of his neck and staring at the wall above her. “We’d better do it quick before she comes back,” she murmured.

Steve’s nerves, born of his 1940s sensibilities, his limited though not non-existent experience, despite what Tony thought, and a deep attraction to Emily, disappeared as he heard the quiver in her voice. He felt a surge of anger towards Tess for putting Emily in this situation. “We don’t have to do this Emily. We can just go and rejoin the others, ignore it. It is just a silly tradition. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“It’s not that Steve, I’m …,” she trailed off. 

“Scared?” he finished gently. How could she not be after what she’s been through? The man she gave her life to took her trust and destroyed it. She nodded, wrapping her arms around her core. “I’m not him Emily.”

“I know that,” her voice was adamant. She stepped slightly closer, looking up to meet his gaze.

Steve could see the lingering fear in her blue eyes, but it was pushed out by the determination to overcome it. He brushed a loose piece of hair behind her ear, his fingers lingering on her cheek. Emily leaned into his touch and he took a chance. He bent his head slowly, bringing his lips close Emily’s, but leaving the final choice to her. 

Emily closed the distance, going up on her toes and placing her hands on his chest to brace herself. She could feel the hard lines of his muscles beneath his sweater and his heart beating strongly. She was surrounded by his smell, like sawdust, peppermint and something uniquely Steve. His lips were soft as they moved lightly over hers, her thoughts and fear swept away in the sensation. This is what a kiss should feel like. 

Steve’s free hand was clenched at his side, wanting to reach for her, pull her closer but not daring to. The last women he kissed had been Sharon Carter, a doomed relationship from the beginning as the shadow of Peggy had always been hanging over them. In a short week, his feelings for Emily had surpassed anything he’d felt in the past, save for Peggy. But that was a different time, a different life. 

He heard Tess returning and pulled back, eyes opening. Emily’s eyes were still closed, her mouth slightly parted as she breathed a little quicker than normal. Steve couldn’t resist pressing a final quick kiss to her lips before Tess walked in to the kitchen. Steve stepped in front, blocking Tess’s view of Emily, giving her a moment to collect herself. 

“Everything alright in here?” Tess asked with a teasing lilt. Steve nodded, crossing his arms, his expression hard. “Now come you two don’t be cross. It’s just some harmless teasing.”

Emily came out from behind Steve, her cheeks a little pinker than normal. “We don’t need to be pushed together Tess.” Emily knew Tess meant no harm and was just pushing her to be happy, but she wanted to take this potential relationship with Steve at their own pace, whatever that turned out to be. Though she might thank Tess at work on Monday, that kiss felt like the start of something. Her knees still felt a bit weak.

“Alright, no more mistletoe attacks,” Tess agreed. “Can you carry these trays out there? Put them wherever you can find space.”

They each grabbed a tray and headed down the hall. Steve couldn’t bear going back to the party without making sure Emily was okay after their kiss. “Emily wait,” he paused them in the hall. “Are you alright? If I overstepped…?”

“Steve, no. It was ….” Emily wanted to say perfect, magical, intense, so many things, but Lily appeared in that moment.

“Mommy, Steve, there you are. I was looking everywhere for you.” Emily could tell she was a little hyped up on sugar, her words coming out fast and excited and the reindeer antlers that Tess had given her were lopsided. With the sugar high came the sugar crash, Emily wondered how long she had.

“We went to help Tess with the food, we’re back now.” Emily threw an apologetic gaze towards Steve. He gave her a soft smile and just shrugged. They would have to talk later.


	7. Chapter 7

“What are you doing over the weekend?” Steve asked as Emily sat across from him in the diner. The dinner rush had been crazy and she was taking advantage of a momentary lull to take a break and chat with Steve.

“Lily and I are going to pick up our Christmas tree and decorate it on Saturday. Would you like to come?” she asked, hoping he’d say yes. Now that he had a job, he wasn’t at the diner all day. He came in Monday night and tonight, Wednesday, which were her night shifts that week, for dinner but it was so disappointingly different than their first week together. Lily kept asking for him too even though she was back at daycare. Every night she asked if Steve was coming over. They hadn’t had a chance to talk about the kiss yet either. 

He had walked her and Lily home after the Christmas party. Technically he had carried Lily home as she had fallen asleep at Tess and Billy’s. She had hoped that he would come in, but Lily had woken up and been a bit cranky. Her daughter was a sweet girl but never get between her and her sleep, especially after a sugar crash. 

“I’d love to join you.” Steve had missed spending time with them too. He was enjoying his work, the satisfaction of building things was a simple pleasure, but he missed spending all day with Lily and Emily.

“Great,” she was thrilled that he would join them. “We’re going to get a tree from the grocery store then come home and decorate it.” She looked a little wistful, “when I was young, I wished that I could go out into the forest with my family and we would cut down our own tree, but obviously growing up in Florida that never happened.”

An idea started to brew in his head, but he kept quiet about it for now. “When should I come over?”

“Noon? I’ll fix us lunch then we can go?” Emily suggested. Steve nodded and she smiled at him, “great. I better head back to work.” A crowd had just come in and despite her desire to stay with Steve, work was calling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve knocked on the door, tucking his hands back in his jacket. It was even colder than last weekend at the parade but at least the sun was out for the tree finding excursion.

Emily opened the door, “hi Steve. Get in here quick, it’s freezing today.” She closed the door behind him, looking at his truck parked in front of the house, “is that a new truck?”

“It’s a new old truck,” Steve offered. “I traded mine yesterday.”

“Why?” She took his coat and hung it up beside hers. 

“Mine was a regular cab, it only had the front bench of seats.” Emily looked confused. “There was no way to put a car seat in for Lily,” he explained. He’d bought the truck upon returning from Wakanda, no specifications other than getting him on the road as quickly and inconspicuously as possible. A child changed everything though. His new truck was the safest option they had.

Emily was floored. “You got a new truck so that Lily would be safe,” her voice cracked as tears sprung to her eyes. She had had to beg John for every single item she needed for Lily and Steve had just gone out of his way to provide for her. “Thank you Steve.” She couldn’t figure out how to convey her gratitude and she honestly needed a minute to collect herself. Thankfully Lily came running out of her room before Steve could ask her what was wrong.

“Hi Steve,” she hugged him tight around the knees. “Happy tree day.”

“Hi Lily.” He knelt down to hug her. “Are you excited?”

“Yup. Mommy and I have been making decorations all week. Do you want to see them?” Lily led him over to the dining room table which was covered in their homemade decorations. There was a Rubbermaid box of other Christmas decorations sitting on the floor. 

Emily took advantage of their distraction and headed to her room for a moment to herself, leaving the door open in case Lily called for her. Needing to keep her hands busy, she dumped the laundry basket of clean clothes on her bed to fold. A couple minutes later, she heard footsteps and a quiet knock on the doorframe.

“May I come in?” his voice was uncertain. She nodded, continuing to fold, his truck visible through her window. “Did I do …?” Emily spun around and cut him off.

“You did nothing wrong Steve. You have done more for Lily in a week and a half than her father ever did, you’ve done more for me. I guess I am still not entirely used to it and I’m not sure how to respond,” she admitted. 

Steve rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous tick she was realizing. “I don’t know what I am doing Emily. I really like spending time with you and with Lily but it is far beyond my normal life. I have no expectations for how you respond. Please just tell me if I do something wrong.”

“I can’t imagine you doing something wrong.” So far he’s been pretty perfect. As her mind caught up with everything he said, she blushed,” Steve, I like spending time with you too.” He blushed at her admission.

“Before we go back in the living room, I wanted to ask you something in case you think it’s a bad idea. If it’s too cold or it’s something you aren’t interested in, I totally understand,” Steve stammered and fumbled adorably.

“Steve spit it out,” she giggled, his nerves just so endearing.

He spoke quickly, “I asked Jed if there are any nearby Christmas tree farms and there is one half an hour outside of town. I thought we could make your childhood dream come true and cut down our own tree.” He held his breathe, hoping he’d done right. He must have because Emily threw her arms around him. He nearly lifted her off the ground as his arms closed to return the hug.

“Thank you,” she whispered, savouring the feeling of his strong arms around her. 

“Whatcha doing?” Emily and Steve separated quickly at the sound of Lily’s voice, blushing red. She was standing in the door looking up at them.

“I…ummm,” Emily cleared her throat, “I was thanking Steve for something he did.” She realized in that moment that she was going to need to have a conversation with Lily if this thing with Steve was going to turn into something.

For now though Lily’s response was a simple, “ok. What’s for lunch?”

Emily smiled, happy to be let off easy this time. “I have grilled cheese ready to go. That work for you Steve?”

“Perfect.” 

They had a great lunch, just catching up from the week. Steve told them all about the projects he was working on. He liked working for Farrow Construction. The guys on his crew were nice and the bosses were fair. And there was no stress, it was an odd feeling but an enjoyable one. 

They finished eating and cleared the dishes. “Lily go put your long johns on and a sweater. We are going on to cut down our own tree.” Lily squealed in excitement and ran off to her room to change. “I’ll be back in a minute Steve, I am going to get some warmer clothes.” They bundled up and headed out to the truck. 

“Let me grab her car seat then I’m ready Steve.” 

“I bought one for the truck already.” Emily paused, _of course he’s thought of that_. “The lady at the store said it should be the right seat for Lily’s age and size, but if it’s wrong, I’ll get a different one.” It was the correct seat for her and Emily showed Steve how to safely buckle her in. 

Flipping through the radio channels, Emily found the Christmas music and her and Lily sang along the entire way there, Steve grinning the whole time. They pulled into the tree farm, Emily feeling like a child as she whipped her head around looking at everything. It was exactly like she had always imagined. A beautiful old barn that seemed to now be a shop. Pre-cut trees were resting against the side of it and wreaths were hug on the walls. There was an open area with a campfire in the middle and a small booth selling drinks and snacks. People were everywhere, families and couples dragging trees behind them.

“This is amazing,” she breathed. Steve grinned at her, happy that she was so happy. 

Parking the truck, he hopped out and jogged around to open Emily’s door and held out his hand to help her down. “Thank you.” Emily got Lily out of the back seat, helping her back in to her hat and gloves. Steve pulled a sled and saw from the truck bed.

“Are you ready to find a tree?” Steve asked. Emily and Lily nodded. “Hop in,” he gestured to the sled.

Lily hopped right in and Emily hesitated. “Steve, I will be way too heavy for you to pull.” He might be strong, but she was not a feather.

“Trust me,” he smiled at her.

“Come on Mommy,” Lily implored her. Emily decided to give it a shot, what could it hurt. 

She settled behind Lily in the sled and waited for Steve to say that he couldn’t do it. He didn’t. He showed absolutely no challenge pulling both of them. Shooting her a grin over his shoulder, he headed into the trees. 

“Faster Steve faster,” Lily called and he started to run. Emily couldn’t remember the last time she rode in a sled, she couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

After a few minutes he slowed down so that they could look at the trees. “What are we looking for?” he asked.

Lily pointed, “that one.” The tree was 15 feet tall and probably 10 feet across.

“I don’t think that one will fit in the living room,” Steve offered, grinning at Emily. Lily continued to point at tree after tree slowly getting smaller. Finally she pointed at one that was perfect. It was a Douglas fir, just over 5 feet tall and beautiful.

“That is perfect Lily.” Steve stopped the sled and the girls climbed out.

“Now what do we do?” Lily asked, looking up at him.

“We cut it down,” Steve held out the saw, keeping the sharp edge away from Lily.

Concern came across her face, “will it hurt the tree if we cut it down?”

Emily felt her heart swell at the love in her child’s heart. She knelt down beside her, “no Lily. These trees were all grown to be Christmas trees. You’re giving this tree a home for Christmas.” She looked undecided for a moment then nodded.

“Can I help cut it down?” Steve looked at Emily, not sure she would want Lily handling a saw. 

However Emily trusted Steve to make sure Lily would be safe so she agreed. “You can help Lily, but you have to do everything Steve says.” 

Steve crawled under the tree and cleared the snow at the base so he could reach the trunk. Once he could, he held out his hand out for Lily. She climbed in, settling in front of him facing the tree. He put the saw at the base of the tree. “Put your hands on the saw Lily and we are going to move it back and forth.” Lily did as he said and slowly they, well he, cut through the tree until it tipped and fell away from them.

“We did it!” Lily cheered, letting go of the saw and rolling over to hug him. “Thank you Steve.” Over Lily’s shoulder, Steve could see Emily snapping a photo of them on her phone, a soft smile on her face. 

“Well done you two,” she reached down to give Steve a hand up. Instead Steve pulled her down in the snow beside him. She looked at him shocked, “you did not just do that.” 

Steve was worried for a moment that she was mad at him, until she shoved a handful of snow in his face with a grin. “It is on,” he rolled, tucking the saw under the tree so no one would get injured and setting Lily on her feet. “You ready to get your mom?” he started forming a snowball.

Emily shrieked and scrambled away, preparing her own snowballs. They dissolved into a full on snowball fight, Lily running back and forth between the two sides. Steve was having a wonderful time, he honestly couldn’t remember the last time he laughed this much. Or enjoyed the snow. He wasn’t tormented by the snowy day they lost Bucky or cold chill from when he crashed that plane, he was just having fun. 

Taking advantage of his combat training for a much different purpose, he snuck up on Emily who was hiding behind a tree and pelted her with a snowball in the back. Instead of running, she hit him right back in the chest before tackling him with a laughing yell. His instinct engaged and he caught her momentum as they went down, rolling her beneath him. He caged her hips with his knees, her wrists anchored by her head with his hands. The intimacy of their position seemed to hit them all at once and their laughter ceased. 

Emily looked up at him, her cheeks rosy from her laughter and the cold, catching her bottom lip between her teeth. She didn’t feel afraid of him like she expected being in that position. She wanted him to kiss her, had since that night under the mistletoe. “Steve,” she whispered, need evident in her voice. 

He leaned in slowly, savouring the moment. There was no risk of Tess walking in, no influence of a holiday tradition. She wanted him and he wanted her. Suddenly Steve was surprised by a lightly tossed snowball to the head. Lily jumped on his back, laughing, “I got you.” The mood was effectively broken though neither Steve nor Emily could be upset by it. Lily was so happy.

“Good shot baby,” Emily smiled up at her hanging over Steve’s shoulder. “I guess we better go buy this tree and get home to decorate.” Lily crawled off of Steve and he stood, pulling Emily up with him. She reached up and brushed the residual snowball from his cheek, letting her fingers linger. 

Steve’s breathe caught in his throat, the intensity back immediately. And then broken as Lily asked, “why do you keep staring at each other?” 

Not wanting to answer that question in that moment, Steve turned to Lily, “are you going to help me pull the tree Lily?” She grabbed the rope, completely distracted, and he put the tree on the sled. He grabbed the rope with Lily and they pulled. Emily walked beside them, carrying the saw, her gloved hand occasionally brushing Steve’s.

They returned to the main area, going to the checkout and baler. “What a beautiful tree,” the cashier measured it and Steve paid before Emily could even pull out her wallet. 

“Steve you don’t have to pay…”

“I want to.” It was his first Christmas tree and he wanted to pay for it. Emily nodded with a smile. He dragged it to the baler and the employees pulled it through.

“What does that do?” Lily asked, taking Emily’s hand. 

“It wraps the tree so that it is easier to get home,” the employee responded as they loaded the wrapped tree on the sled. 

“How about I go load the tree in the truck and you guys check out the store?” Steve offered. He needed a moment away to cool his thoughts so that he wouldn’t grab Emily and kiss her like he wanted to. It wasn’t all he wanted though. He wanted dinners with Lily and late night chats, parades and birthday parties. He wanted what he hadn’t dreamed of in so long, a relationship. And the more time he spent with Emily and Lily, the more he wanted to try.

Returning to the store, he walked into a winter wonderland. The walls were covered in every kind of decoration imaginable, he even saw Avengers ornaments though he walked by them quickly. The shelves in the centre of the store were filled with stockings, Santa figurines, snow globes, everything. Spotting Emily, he headed in their direction.

“Look what I picked Steve,” Lily grabbed his hand, pointing at the ornament that one of the employees was currently writing on. It was a cartoon man, woman and child with the phrase ‘Our First Christmas 2017’ over their heads. The employee was writing their names on the shirts of each person.

“That’s perfect Lily,” he murmured, deeply touched. He was part of a family.

Emily could see out much it meant to him and she slipped her hand into his free one, giving it a squeeze. 

He smiled at her, noticing that she was carrying something. “What do you have there?” Steve gestured to the fabric in Emily’s arms.

She held it out so he could see. “It’s a stocking for you.” She and Lily had their own stockings at home and she wanted one for Steve to hang on the fireplace. It was a beautiful deep red with white trim, an absolute classic, like him.

That sealed it for him. He was going to do whatever it took to make this relationship work, whether they stayed friends or became more serious. They were both already too important in his life to lose them.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out, I am really busy at work so it may take awhile to update. I hope you like the chapter.

Steve parked the truck outside the house, the Christmas music falling silent. 

“Steve, I am going to run in and get the tree stand,” Emily said as she unbuckled herself. “Why don’t you unbuckle Lily and I’ll be right back.” She hurried inside, grabbing the stand that she had left at the front door. Returning to the truck, Steve was just lifting Lily out of the backseat as she chatted his ear off. Lily held his hand tightly as they walked to the back.

Emily handed him the stand and Steve pulled the tree to the edge of the truck bed so the trunk was hanging off. He screwed the tree stand on and lifted it onto his shoulder. “Lead the way.”

She stood frozen for a second at the ease of which he handled the tree, it was like it weighed nothing to him. Shaking off her distraction, they walked up to the house. Emily pushed open the front door, Lily running in ahead of her. “Freeze little miss.” Lily froze mid run looking back at her. “Boots and coat off.” Lily did as she was instructed, hanging up her coat. Emily did the same quickly to get out of Steve’s way.

He paused at the door, toeing off his shoes, as he balanced the tree on his shoulder. He caught Emily staring at him again and he bit back a smile. This was not the first time that a woman appreciated his looks or his strength, not that he was the best at noticing. It was usually Natasha telling him in a knowing tone that always flustered him. But he noticed Emily looking and he was…maybe proud wasn’t the right word, but happy that she was attracted to him. Because he was attracted to her, physically and emotionally.

Emily cleared her throat, blushing, “do you want to set the tree down while I move some of the furniture around to make space?” 

He shook his head, “it’s alright.” The tree really wasn’t heavy and he selfishly wanted her to keep looking.

Emily nodded, forcing herself to look away. She pushed the armchair so that it was in line with the couch rather than perpendicular, leaving an open space beside the bookshelf, and moved the box of decorations closer to the dining room table. “Put it right there Steve,” she directed. Steve set the tree where she said and made sure the tree stand was sturdy before releasing it.

“Do you have scissors so we can cut the twine?” Steve asked Emily. She grabbed them from the kitchen and returned, handing them to Steve. “Come here Lily.” He lifted her up and they cut the twine, the tree opening up like a flower.

“It’s perfect,” Lily squealed, clapping her hands. “Can we start decorating now?”

“Go change first. I don’t want you to get overheated in your long johns. And I’ll go make some hot chocolate for us.” Lily ran off and Emily turned to Steve, “do you want to help me with the hot chocolate?” He nodded, hanging up his coat and following her.

She filled the kettle and placed it on the stove to boil. “Could you grab three mugs from the cupboard?” As he did, she got the hot chocolate mix down and the milk from the fridge. He set them on the counter beside her. “Put a heaping spoon of hot chocolate in each cup.” She put a bit of milk in each, more in Lily’s, and stirred in the chocolate. 

They waited for the water to boil in an awkward silence, both a little uncertain in the now quiet moment. Emily peeked at him out of the corner of her eye and saw worry clear on his face.

“Are you alright Steve?”

“I hope I didn’t overstep today.”

“Of course not, we wanted you there with us. Lily adores you.” It had been a wonderful day so she wasn’t sure where this was coming from.

“I don’t mean Lily. I hope I didn’t overstep with you…in the snow.” Steve was sure he was blushing, but he wanted to make sure that he had not made her uncomfortable. If Lily hadn’t shown up, he would have kissed her and despite the interest they both seemed to have, he didn’t want to push her after what she has been through.

At his words, Emily blushed too, but it was important Steve understand her feelings so she responded. “You didn’t overstep Steve. Not at all.” She hesitated, but said quietly, “I like you.”

“I like you too,” he murmured.

They stood there, awkward and blushing like high school students admitting their first crush. Though in some ways, they were, ignoring the high school part of course. Emily hadn’t really dated before her parents’ death, just not interested and after, her life was consumed by John. Steve had dated a few girls before the transformation and since waking up from the ice, but he hadn’t felt this immediate connection or potential for a future.

The whistle of the kettle ended the moment, but the awkwardness was gone. Emily poured in the water and Steve mixed the drinks. Returning to the living room, Lily was already seated on the couch, vibrating with excitement, ready to go. “I’m going to go change quick and then we can start.” She changed out of the warm layers and put on a pair of cozy tights and an ugly Christmas sweater that she honestly thought was adorable.

“What’s first?” Steve asked, as she came back in, happy to follow their lead as it had been awhile since decorating a tree himself. Tony tended to hire people to set up the Christmas decorations so the last time he’d decorated was with the Howling Commandos, one cold night in a forest in Germany when they’d used anything they could find to decorate this sad little tree. It was one of his favourite memories of the Commandos. Only a couple months later was the fateful night they lost Bucky. Emily’s response brought him back to the moment.

“Lights, tinsel and popcorn strings.” Emily’s parents had always hung the lights and tinsel first because then they could hang ornaments on them. She remembered her Christmas trees growing up; they had been so covered in decorations that you could barely see the tree beneath it. Her parents had collected ornaments everywhere that they went. When her parents had died, she had to sell the house so she had put a lot of those items in storage and upon moving in with John, he hadn’t wanted anything of her parents in the house. Eventually everything was sold because she couldn’t keep up on the payments. The loss of the furniture, her father’s book, her mother’s clothes, she could get past. But the loss of their family photos, Christmas ornaments, those family mementoes, it had broken her heart again. Thankfully she had been able to grab a few photos albums when they ran so she had something. Her thoughts must have shown on her face, as Steve stepped closer, cradling her elbow.

“Is everything alright?” he asked concerned. He’d seen the pain run through her eyes as she looked at the tree.

Shaking it off, she smiled, “Yes, everything is good. Just memories.” He looked ready to pursue it further so she continued, “I’ll tell you more about it later,” glancing down at Lily who was thankfully oblivious to her mom’s distress.

“Okay,” he reluctantly agreed, understanding that she didn’t want to talk in front of Lily. “Let’s get started.”

Decorating took all afternoon and evening with a short break for a pizza dinner. With each ornament, Emily and Lily would share a story about where they got it or made it. Steve listened intently to each story, soaking up their history and love. It felt wonderfully normal. The last ornament to go on was their angel tree topper. Steve lifted Lily so she could reach the top.

Cradled in Steve’s arms, Lily looked at their finished tree in awe, the lights casting reflections around the room. “It’s the most beautiful Christmas tree I have ever seen,” she whispered, resting her head on Steve’s shoulder. Emily had to agree with her; the tree, the whole day had just been wonderful.

Checking her watch, Emily realized how late it was. “Alright sweetie, it is time to start getting ready for bed,” Emily ran her fingers through Lily’s hair.

“But I want to look at our tree more,” Lily’s voice was tired despite her words. 

“I’ll make you a deal. You will go have your bath and put you pajamas on then we can read your bedtime story out here like last time Steve was here.”

“Steve will you stay?” Lily looked up at him beseechingly. He nodded, not wanting to leave them yet anyway.

Taking Lily from his arms, Emily said, “we’ll be back soon. Make yourself comfortable.”

Steve watched them disappear into the bathroom and the water turn on. Deciding to explore their space a little more, he started at the bookshelf which had family photos scattered over the shelves. There were a couple baby photos of Lily, one with Emily though she was hard to recognize with the look of pain in her eyes. Most of the photos were of Lily and Emily around Harper, with Tess and Billy or on their own. On the top shelf was a picture of a young Emily with what must have been her parents. They looked so happy and he grieved for what she had lost. Moving on from the photos, Steve found a shelf of books ranging from romance to action to nonfiction, all appeared well thumbed. There were two shelves of movies, one Emily’s favourites and one Lily’s. The last shelf was full of games and activities.

Exploring the rest of the room, he saw little touches of Emily and Lily from the smiley faces painted on the end of each coat hook to the throw pillows nearly the same shade of blue as Emily’s eyes. He’d finished his perusal of the room and settled on the couch when Lily came running back in wearing snowman footie pajamas and holding a book.

She climbed up beside him on the couch. “Will you read to me Steve?” She handed him the book, How The Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss. He looked nervously at Emily, who sat beside Lily. He’d never read to a child before, what if he did it poorly.

Emily took pity on him, “the Grinch is my favourite Lily. How about I read it?” Lily handed her the book then leaned into his side. Emily opened the book and began to read. Steve and Lily listened captivated by her story.

As one point, Lily whispered to him, “Mommy is the best storyteller.” He had to agree.

The story flew by and much too soon Emily closed the book. “And now it is time for bed.” She lifted Lily into her arms and headed to her room, but Lily called out.

“Steve, come tuck me in too.”

He was helpless to resist so he followed, gaining a glimpse at pure happiness as Emily pulled back the blankets and lay Lily in. She pressed a kiss to her forehead, “I love you to the moon and back”. Taking a step back to let Steve approach, he paused uncertain until Lily put out her arms for a hug. He held her tight for a moment then released her.

Emily turned off the bedside lamp as Lily snuggled into her blankets. “Night Mommy, night Steve,” she whispered.

“Good night baby,” Emily shut the door behind them. “Thank you for that Steve.” Her heart felt full to bursting at his kindness to her sweet girl. “Do you need to leave right away or can you stay?” She hoped he would stay, their time alone was often limited but precious to her.

“I’ll stay.” He was in no rush to go back to his apartment, which nice as it was, was lacking everything he wanted at that moment, Emily’s company.

“Great. Can I get you a cup of tea?” He nodded; coffee was more his thing, not that the caffeine did anything to his enhanced system but it was more the social aspect of it from the war. But he was happy to try more tea, if it made Emily smile at him like that.

“I am a bit of a tea granny. When I was young, my mom would put weak tea with a lot milk in my sippy cup and I’ve been drinking it ever since. I like some of the fancier teas, but give me a choice and I’ll always pick the Tetley round bag orange pekoe,” she grinned at him as she put the water on to boil. “It’s those comfort foods or drinks that remind of us of simpler times.”

Steve understood completely, “I was a pretty sick kid growing up and when I was really bad, my mom would make chicken soup. We never had a lot of money, but she always seemed to pull together this soup when I needed it.” There was something about Emily that brought these memories, long past back to the surface.

“She seems like a wonderful mom.” She must have been to raise such a wonderful man like Steve.

“She was, like you.” Emily blushed at his kind words. She finished preparing the tea and they returned to the living room.

Emily settled beside Steve on the couch, hands warmed by the tea, looking at their beautiful tree. “I can’t thank you enough Steve. Today really was perfect.”

“For me too,” he admitted happily. “What happened earlier though? You looked so sad.”

“I’m sorry about that. I was reminded of so many happy Christmases with my parents and all of our family ornaments. I have nothing left except the memories.” She shrugged, wiping a single tear that had fallen. “It was momentary grief over what I lost.” She glanced at Steve, who was just looking at her silently, compassion in his eyes. It must have been that which caused her to ask, “would you like to see some photos of my family?”

“I would love to.” She went to her room and grabbed one of her childhood photo albums, returning to his side. Opening it up, she saw her seven year old self on the first day of school with her parents.

“You and Lily look so alike,” Steve exclaimed. She was adorable, her front tooth missing and her backpack just dwarfing her. Emily flipped through the pages, from Halloween costumes to family portraits in front of Christmas trees to summer holidays. Every photo was full of joy and love. 

Closing the album, she set it on the coffee table. “Thank you Steve for letting me share that with you.”

“Thank you for sharing your family with me, past and present.” She smiled at him and leaned into his side. He put his arm across the back of the couch, allowing her to shift closer. They sat quietly, just enjoying the lights and the low Christmas music she had put on earlier. 

Everything just felt natural and real, Steve wanted to embrace it. “Emily,” Steve cleared his throat nervously, “would you go to dinner with me?”

“Like a date?” He nodded, worried she’d say no. He needn’t have been, she was ready to take this step with him. “I’d love to.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in this chapter and that it is so short. I was away in the UK most of the summer and have been swamped with school since being back. Hopefully the chapters will come quicker.

Steve knocked nervously on the door. A date, he was going on a date with Emily. Totally fine, he could handle this…right? It wasn’t his first date since the ice, but he could honestly say that it was the most important by far. Emily mattered too much to him and he did not want to mess this up. He already felt inadequate not bringing her flowers, but there were none at either grocery store he’d checked. Before he could talk himself into a frenzy, Emily opened the door. 

Steve’s mouth dropped open, she looked breathtaking in her blue dress, her hair falling in soft waves around her face. The red lipstick drew his attention and he could barely resist leaning in to kiss her. “’You look beautiful Emily.”

Emily blushed at his words and his awed tone, “thank you Steve.” She had only had a morning shift at the diner and Tess had offered to take Lily for the whole day and night, leaving Emily the entire afternoon to freak out about her date. She had spent nearly an hour after work staring at her closet, realizing she really didn’t have anything to wear on a date. At least a date that she really wanted to impress. A panicked call to Kate had resulted in the librarian bringing over a bunch of dresses and shoes as they were similar sizes. Thankfully Kate had the day off work. It ended up being a really fun afternoon as the last time she’s hung out with a girlfriend to get ready for a date had been in high school. Emily felt her age for the first time in a long time, like a 20 something rather than just a mother. Kate had done her hair, taming the curls in soft waves, while they listened to pop music from their childhoods. They had picked a knit navy blue dress from Kate’s selections that made her feel beautiful. The top was fitted with a rounded neckline and three quarter length sleeves. The skirt flared out, hitting just above her knees, and there was a built in belt accenting her waist. Her legs were covered in nude stockings ending in low red heels that matched her red lipstick. She had nearly said no to the lipstick and the darker eye makeup Kate had applied, her own preference to wear almost nothing. But Steve’s response made her glad she’d conceded to Kate.

“Let me just grab my coat and I’m ready.” Emily pulled it from the coat hook, shrugging it on; the puffy black coat may not be appealing, but snow was predicted for tonight and she had no desire to freeze. Steve was wearing a warm coat and a scarf wound around his neck, cheeks already red from the cold.

Stepping outside, Emily felt the cold steal the air from her lungs. “Where are we going tonight?” she asked, as she pulled her coat tighter around her.

Steve opened the passenger door and helped her in. “It’s a surprise,” he sent her a surprisingly cheeky grin as he shut the door. Emily grinned at his response, her excitement starting to overcome her nerves. 

As they drove to Steve’s mysterious destination, they spoke of their weeks. Both had been busy and hadn’t seen one other since tree decorating, making it the longest that they had been apart in the short two and a half weeks they’d known each other. Friday evening had been the first night that they were both free. Kate had had a couple Christmas events at Lily’s school and Steve had taken on some extra shifts to cover for some of the fathers on his crew that had family stuff. He liked giving them time with their families though he had missed Emily and Lily. It was crazy how much they meant to him in such a short time.

Driving up into the mountains, Steve pulled into the ski resort. Emily had never been before; it had only opened last year. Besides growing up in Florida, skiing had never been a skill she’d learned. It was a beautiful log chalet style building. It was also a perfect location because no one knew who they were, the resort was full of tourists rather than townspeople that would whisper and gossip. She loved the people in town but she would prefer to build her relationship with Steve without the input of everyone.

The valet approached the truck and took the keys from Steve who came around to her side of the vehicle. He opened Emily’s door and held out a hand to help her down. Emily swung her legs around and took Steve’s hand, sliding down, careful not to catch her skirt. A few snowflakes were starting to fall through they were covered under the overhang. 

Emily looked around in awe as they walked into the lobby. It was dripping in Christmas splendor, a large 20 foot tree dominating the space, decorated in simple silver ornaments and twinkling white lights. Garlands of holly and ivy covered the bannisters and window frames. Subtle Christmas music was playing in the background, loud enough to be noticeable but quiet enough to not distract from conversation. 

Steve appreciated the decorations too, though the joy on Emily’s face was far more beautiful, her eyes lighting up in a very fetching way. His attention was drawn from her as one of the staff approached them, a buxom blonde woman.

“Welcome to the Lakefront Resort. Are you here for dinner or to check in for the night?” the young woman asked, giving Steve a rather obvious once over, her flirtatious grin quite clearly displaying her interest.

Steve cleared his throat uncomfortably, unsure what to do at her blatant behaviour. Emily, on the other hand, reacted immediately, tucking her hand in his elbow and placing her free on his chest possessively. “We’re here for dinner, aren’t we dear,” her voice was hard, jealously burning through her.

The woman at least had the decency to look embarrassed, “of course. Right this way.” She led them to restaurant and scurried off without another look. Emily couldn’t bring herself to look at Steve, a little embarrassed by her jealous reaction 

“May I take your coat miss, sir?” one of the attendants asked. Emily unzipped her jacket. Steve stepped closer and helped her, handing it and his coat to the attendant. 

“Please follow me,” the maître d’ led them to their table, a private little two person table overlooking the frozen lake and vast expanse of trees and snow. The dining room was dimly lit, candles on every table providing a romantic glow. Steve pulled out her chair and she settled into it with a quiet, “thank you.” 

“Your waiter will be with you shortly,” the maître d’ left them alone as Steve unbuttoned his jacket and sat down across from her. 

An awkward silence settled over them, neither sure what to say now that they were here. Emily felt like she needed to apologize for her actions in the lobby. Steve had obviously not been interested in the woman’s attentions so there had been no need for her jealously. It wasn’t a feeling she had really felt before, especially not for a man. “I’m sorry how I reacted to that woman Steve,” Emily offered.

Steve was quick to reassure her, “please don’t be, I’ll admit I rather liked it.” He was unlikely to have said anything, his desire to be polite outweighing his discomfort. Emily’s jump to his defense had been welcome in shutting down the woman’s advances and Steve felt a pleasant burn inside at her jealousy. “Feel free to protect me anytime.”

The waiter came by then, interrupting any further conversation on the matter. “Hello folks, my name is Michael and I will be your waiter tonight.” He handed them the menu, “our specials for this evening are lobster mac and cheese, a mushroom risotto and a braised lamb. They are listed in the front of the menu. Can I start you with anything to drink?”

Steve gestured for her to go first. “I’ll have a white wine, please.”

“What kind miss? Chardonnay, Pinto Grigio, Riesling?” 

“Riesling.” Emily couldn’t remember the last time she had a glass of wine. She didn’t really keep any alcohol in the house, not having any need or desire for it.

“Very good. And for yourself sir?”

“I’ll have a whiskey neat, please.” The serum ensured that his metabolism burned off any alcohol before it had an effect on him, but he enjoyed the taste of whiskey and had become used to drinking casually in social situations to not raise questions.

“I’ll get those drinks out to you in a few minutes and take your order.” Michael sent them a smile and left them alone. 

They opened their menus, scanning the options in comfortable silence. Michael returned with their drinks, taking their orders.

Alone again, Emily took a moment to observe Steve now that his coat was off. He was wearing black slacks with a light blue button down and a gray blazer. The collar was unbuttoned and he wore no tie. The outfit showed off his form impeccably and brought out the amazing blue in his eyes. He almost took her breath away. “You look very handsome Steve.” 

Steve nearly blushed. He’d bought the clothes this week as his wardrobe was mostly work clothes and he wanted to look nice for her. He might have gone a little overboard, buying more clothes in one trip than any time he could remember, hoping that this wouldn’t be their last date. “Thank you Emily.”

“How did you find out about this place?” she asked, wondering what led him to select it.

“One of the guys on my crew said it had great food.” He had endured a good natured ribbing from his crew when he’s asked for suggestions. “He also said it was a nice place for a date because there are less locals around.”

Emily burst out laughing, “that’s actually one of the first thoughts I had when you pulled in. There aren’t many places in town you can go that offer much privacy. Not that I’d change anything.”

“No I agree. Everyone I’ve met so far has been kind and welcoming.” He’d found a place that he felt he belonged, and belonged as Steve.

“So no regrets agreeing to stay?”

“Absolutely none.” She felt her breath catch in her throat as his intent gaze locked on her.

“I’m glad.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like the new chapter. Things are starting to happen for Steve and Emily.

As it approached 10, Emily noticed the snowfall really start to pick up. Steve followed her gaze. “It looks like it is getting pretty bad out there. We should probably head back to town.” As much as he wanted to spend more time with her, he was not willing to risk her safety. Steve flagged their waiter, requesting the cheque. Dinner had been absolutely delicious, followed by the most decadent truffle chocolate cake that they had shared. The time had just flown by, their natural rhythms matching up. It was the best date of either of their lives.

Michael returned to the table with their bill, “here you are folks. Thank you so much for joining us tonight.”

“Thank you Michael, it was wonderful,” Emily said. 

Reaching for her purse to split the bill, Steve shook his head. “Please let me pay Emily.” He understood that it was not expected for the man to pay for everything now, but he grew up in a different time. And he wanted to treat her right. 

She nodded her agreement, appreciating his chivalry. Some girls might rail against it and had it been any other man, she may have. After John, she never wanted to feel beholden to a man. But it didn’t feel like that with Steve. Offering to pay, holding the door, helping her with her coat, that was who Steve was.

Leaving cash on the table, he stood, holding his arm out for her to take. He escorted her to the coat check and taking her coat, he held it up. 

Sliding her arms in, she could feel the comforting weight of his hands on her shoulders. “Thank you Steve.” He put his own on and they headed to the front door. Passing the valet the ticket, they only had to wait a moment for the truck to be brought around. Bracing against the increasing cold, she held tight to Steve’s arm as he escorted her to the passenger side.

Steve drove carefully through the mountains into town, the snow falling harder and faster, building up on the road. The way it was whipping past the windshield, it reminded him of some movie that Tony made him watch about space, royalty, war…Star Games or something.

They sat in comfortable quiet on the way home, only chatting occasionally, each lost in their own thoughts. Steve pulled up in front of her house and jumped out, jogging around to Emily’s door, the snow blowing around him. He opened the door for her and she swung her legs around.

Noting how deep the snow was, near half a foot, Emily glanced at her shoes concerned. She didn’t want to repay Kate’s kindness by ruining her shoes in the snow.

Steve noticed her hesitation, “is everything alright?”

She nodded,” it’s silly. I just don’t want to ruin Kate’s shoes. Maybe I could run inside without shoes, it’s not that far.” She grimaced at the thought of the cold snow drenching her feet.

Steve shook his head, “it’s far too cold for that.” He paused before offering, “I could carry you to the door.” He hoped the dark was hiding the flush on his cheeks.

Emily had no such luck, the truck cabin lights illuminating her blush as she considered his offer. It would save the shoes and being in Steve’s arms would be no hardship, but it was such a position of vulnerability. Biting her lower lip, she glanced at Steve, “are you sure? I’m not very light.”

Steve bit back a laugh, “it’s not a problem.” It was the second time, she’d made some comment about being heavier. She may not be some stick thin model, but he appreciated that, having no desire to be with someone who barely ate or was concerned with every calorie. 

She considered for a moment longer then nodded, “thank you Steve. I’d appreciate that.”

He could sense her apprehension so moved slowly, slipping an arm behind her back and the other beneath her knees, making sure not to touch her skin directly. Steve lifted her out of the truck, chuckling as she wrapped her arms tight around his neck. He pushed the door shut, making his way to the front door.

Emily held tight to Steve, though she could tell she didn’t need to. He was carrying her like she weighed nothing at all. She felt safe in his arms.

Reaching the porch far too quickly for both of them, he set her down under the overhang, the snow much less deep there. Emily dug around in her purse, looking for her keys. Finding it, she put her key in door, turning it slowly, feeling Steve’s steady presence at her back. Pushing the door open, she faced him, little distance between them. “Would you like to come in for some tea? Watch a movie? Maybe the snow will stop soon.” She hoped he didn’t find her too forward. She wasn’t ready to say goodnight to Steve yet and she rarely got a night without Lily.

“I’d like that,” he said without a pause. Perhaps it wasn’t the most proper thing to do, but he wanted to spend more time with her just the two of them.

She pulled off her coat and hung it up, slipping off her shoes with a sigh. Heels were really not her forte. “I’ll go put the kettle on. Why don’t you pick a movie?” Emily hurried to the kitchen to collect herself for a moment.

Steve hung his coat beside hers, hearing her run the water. He looked at her movie collection, recognizing only a few of the titles from team movie nights. Randomly selecting one, he grabbed You’ve Got Mail. Heading to the kitchen, he asked Emily, “what about this one?”

Emily looked at his choice, “that’s one of my favourites. It’s a rom-com though, is that okay?”

“Rom-com?” Steve hadn’t heard that term before.

Emily sent him a curious glance, wondering at his confusion, “it’s a romantic comedy. Most guys don’t really like watching them.”

“I don’t mind. It’s your favourite, I’d like to see it.” He wanted to know her better and this was a way to do that.

_How did I get so lucky_ , she thought, smiling at him.

As they waited for the water to boil, he wandered over to the window, looking out at the increasingly thick falling snow. 

Emily noticed that he grew tenser the longer he watched the snow, his fists clenching and his shoulders tightening. “Steve, are you alright?” He didn’t respond, seemingly lost in thought. She stepped closer but didn’t touch him in case she startled him; she knew startling a soldier could cause them to lash out. Steve wasn’t the type of man to hurt her on purpose, she was confident about that, but if she surprised him…who knew what he’d been through. Raising her voice, she got his attention, “Steve?”

He shook his head, bringing his focus back to her. “I’m sorry Emily. I was lost in memories.” Memories of snow and cold, losing Peggy. He hated that his mind brought them to the surface now when he was embracing his future with Emily. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Emily offered.

Steve hesitated, he couldn’t tell her about crashing the plane, the years lost in the ice. But he wanted her to know him, so maybe he could share without the specific details. “I crashed a vehicle in a snow bank when I was younger. I was trying to avoid hitting something else, but I got stuck. All I can remember is cold and dark, it felt like I was there for years.” Emily’s hand flew to her mouth in shock. “I was rescued, but I am not always the biggest fan of snow and cold. Although it has been growing on me since being in Harper.” How could it not after the parade and tree cutting.

Emily took his hand, looking up at him intently, “I am so sorry for what you went through Steve. I can’t imagine.”

“Please don’t try, I don’t want you to ever experience that. I am fine now, it’s all in the past.” He was fine mostly. Occasionally nightmares plagued him from that time, but he’d seen enough horrors in the modern world and done things that replaced those former terrors. 

Emily felt a bit helpless in how to help him so she decided to counteract his pain with joy as best she could. “Well I’ll introduce you to my favourite way to spend cold, snowy nights.” She was on a mission now. Pouring the boiled water over the tea bag in the pot, leaving it to steep. She turned on the oven and grabbed a container of cookie dough from the freezer from the last time she baked them.

“What are you doing?” Steve watched her buzz around the kitchen, her enthusiasm catching. 

“Replacing the bad memories with good.” Grabbing his hand, she pulled him through the living room and into her bedroom. Letting go of him, he stood awkwardly in the entry way, not sure what to do. She yanked her comforter off the bed and handed it to him. “Would you put this on the couch please? I’ll be out in a moment, I’m just going to change into something cozier.”

He hurried out of the room, blushing at the thought of her changing. Setting down the blanket, he returned to the kitchen. Steve pulled down two mugs and poured the steeped tea, adding a splash of milk to Emily’s as he’d seen her do. Carrying them back to the living room, his timing was perfect as Emily bounded out of her bedroom.

She had dressed in her coziest pajamas, navy blue fleece covered in white snowflakes, and he couldn’t help but smile. Suddenly she was a little embarrassed. What was she thinking putting on such juvenile pajamas after spending so much time this afternoon dressing up to impress him. Emily hesitated, “maybe I should go change…” 

He immediately put her at ease, “please don’t. You look perfect.” His eyes widened as he realized what he said. He didn’t try and take it back though, he meant it.

Emily couldn’t stop the smile that took over her face. “Thank you,” she murmured unable to meet his gaze for a second, tucking her hair behind her ear with her free hand. In the other, she was holding an oversized sweater she’d bought from the second hand store for cold winter nights. She thought it might fit Steve so he could change out of his suit jacket and button down. “Here Steve, see if this fits.”

“I’m fine in this,” he gestured to his clothes. She handed it to him anyways with a grin and pointed to the bathroom. 

He laughed at her stubbornness, taking the sweater from her and went into the bathroom to change. Leaving his undershirt on, he pulled the sweater over his head. It fit him surprisingly well and was honestly a lot more comfortable than the suit. Folding his jacket and shirt, he went back to the living room. Emily had been busy, the Christmas tree lights now plugged in casting a soft glow around the room and she had turned off the rest of the lights in the living room. The movie was queued up and the comforter was spread out on the couch, Emily tucked up on one side. 

“Come sit Steve.” She held up the other end of the blanket for him to sit. “I’ll put the cookies in soon, they need to thaw a bit more.” 

Steve allowed her to tuck the blanket around him. Rather than feeling like a child, he felt cared for. 

Once satisfied, she asked, “ready?” At his nod, she started the movie. She spent most of it sneaking glances at Steve to see how he was enjoying it, other than the few minutes to put the cookies in. He frequently caught her eye and they shared a small smile. 

As the movie progressed, Steve allowed himself to loosen up, get more comfortable on the couch. He stretched his arm over the back of the couch, Emily’s hair occasionally brushing against his hand. Occasionally he would lean forward to grab a cookie, the gooey chocolate chip cookies melting in his mouth. Before long, he realized he’d eaten nearly the whole plate of them. Casting a slightly guilty look at Emily, she just laughed, stealing the last one for herself.

“I’m glad you liked them.” 

The movie flew by for both of them. Too soon it ended. She gazed over at him, the credits scrolling in the background. “What did you think?”

“I liked it. What makes it one of your favourites?”

Emily considered, “well I always wanted to be Kathleen, owning a little bookshop and becoming a children’s writer. But mostly it’s their love story, two people who seems like they don’t work finding each other. I wish Joe hadn’t lied to her about his identify,” Steve felt a deep discomfort at her words, wasn’t he doing the same thing, “though I don’t think that they would have fallen in love if he’d told her.” She shrugged, “I guess it shows that love isn’t perfect, but it can still be true love.” She laughed at herself self-deprecatingly, “that sounds silly.” 

“Not at all. It sounds hopeful,” Steve’s voice was sincere. He checked his watch, it was just after 1. “It’s late, I should probably head home and let you get some sleep.”

Emily stood and peered out the window, the snow coming down heavy in the glow of the streetlamps. “It’s snowing worse Steve. I’m not sure it is safe to drive, it doesn’t look like the snow ploughs have done much yet.” 

“It’s only a few minutes back to my place, I am sure I’ll be okay.” He had four wheel drive and snow tires so he was confident that he could get back safely.

She hesitated for a moment, “you could stay here. I’ll take Lily’s bed and you can have mine.” 

“No.” Steve stood up and joined her at the window. “I appreciate the offer Emily, but I respect you too much to do that.” He did appreciate it, knowing it must have been difficult after John. He would not risk damaging her reputation though, even if he cared little what people thought. This was a small town and he had no doubt that people would notice his truck parked overnight. 

She nodded in understanding though she didn’t care what people thought, other than her friends who would probably throw a party for her.

They walked to the front door and Steve put his coat on, “I’ll wash your sweater and return it soon.” She nodded, chewing on her lower lip. Steve could tell that she wanted to say something, but was nervous, “are you okay Emily?”

She didn’t want to bring their evening down at all, but Emily wanted to be entirely honest with him. “I really like you Steve. More than I ever thought I could like a man after what happened with John. And especially in such a short time.” His sweet smile made her concern even stronger, “I don’t want to screw this up, but I have no idea what I’m doing. It’s been so long since I’ve even been on a date. I feel like I missed so much of my life. I went on a couple dates in high school and the first year of university, but John was my first and only boyfriend. And I was still so messed up about my parents’ death, it wasn’t normal dating. It’s like my life has been on hold for almost ten years and I don’t know how to restart it.” She felt tears well in her eyes, both from the painful memories and embarrassment, lower lip trembling. 

Steve took her hand and held it tightly. “Emily please don’t worry about screwing this up. I have no idea what I’m doing either. Being in the army for so long, I really have not dated that much. And I like you too, more than I ever expected. I have been moving around this country aimlessly, searching for something. I didn’t know I was searching for you. And I know you’re a packaged deal, but Lily is not a hardship, she’s a gift.” 

Emily felt a tear slip down her cheek even as she smiled at him. His openness with his feelings and his genuine care for her daughter, they were things she’d dreamed of but never imagined that she’d find in a man.

Steve brushed the tear away with his thumb, cupping her cheek gently, “Emily will you be my girl?” He almost couldn’t believe he was asking. When he left Bucky and the team, he never hoped to meet someone that he’d want to share his life with. He still didn’t feel like her deserved it, but he wanted to embrace this new life. He just had to hope Emily did to.

She felt like her heart was going to beat out of her chest. Putting her hand on his, she curled her fingers around his, leaning into his palm. “Yes I will,” she whispered.

The joy spread over Steve’s entire face, making him look much younger and more carefree. “Thank you for giving me a chance Emily. We can take this as slow as you want, as slow as we want. I have no expectations from you.” Steve pressed a kiss to her cheek. He wanted to kiss her again. Sometimes it felt like all he thought of was their kiss under the mistletoe. But he just said that he would not rush her, so he’d wait for her to make the first move. He didn’t have to wait long. 

Before he could pull back, she turned slightly, pressing her lips to his. Their first kiss had been lovely, but she had felt a little rushed into it, by Tess not Steve, and there was still a bit of fear underneath it all and with that a desire to overcome it. This time, she wasn’t trying to prove to herself that she could, she kissed him because she wanted to. More than anything. 

It was an innocent kiss, lips barely moving against each other, but it was perfect. Emily pulled back after a few seconds, her eyes opening. She hadn’t even realized that she’d closed them. Steve was looking down at her with a soft smile and she couldn’t help but smile back. 

“Can I see you tomorrow?” Steve whispered.

“Lily and I are going to bake Christmas cookies, do you want to join us?” Lily would want to see Steve too, she’d been asking all week when he could come over again. And it would be a good time to talk with her about dating Steve.

“I’d love to. I’ve never baked before so I might be a liability.” He could cook well enough for himself, but desserts were not in his wheelhouse. However after eating Emily’s cookies tonight, he was happy to be a taste tester.

“I’ll keep you away from anything too dangerous,” she teased. “Tess and Billy are dropping Lily off around ten, so come over any time after that.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Thank you for an amazing night.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Thank you Steve.” He sent her one last smile and headed out into the snow. Wrapping her arms around herself against the cold, she watched him go. “Steve,” she called after him as he stepped off the porch. He stopped and turned to face her, the snow blowing around him. “I want you to know that I have no expectations from you either. You’ve been through a lot and I know some of it you can’t talk about, some of it you don’t want to talk about. But I’m here for you, to talk to, to listen, or to just hold your hand when the past is too strong.”

_How did she know exactly what to say_. With her words, Emily became his partner, more than just a girlfriend. Steve strode back to her, pulling her into a tight hug, her feet nearly lifted off the ground. “You are extraordinary.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for how long it has taken to update. I have been swamped with school and family stuff, plus suffering some writer's block. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

“Morning Emily,” Tess called out, pushing open the front door. Tess and Billy had their own key to the house, it was just easier with how often they watched Lily.

“Good morning,” Emily stepped out of the kitchen, where she’d been cleaning up the dishes from last night. After Steve had left, she’d gone to bed though it had taken awhile to fall asleep. Her mind was going a million miles a second, entirely in a good way though. She had enjoyed sleeping in this morning, even if she was still washing up now.

“Hi Mommy.” Lily dropped her bag on the armchair and skipped over for a hug.

“Morning baby. Did you have fun with Tess?” Emily pressed a kiss to her hair. 

“Yup. We played charades and Billy had to be a turtle. It was so funny, he was rolling around on the ground.” Lily couldn’t seem to help laughing even now. “And we had pancakes for breakfast.”

“Sounds like a great time. Why don’t you go unpack your backpack Lily? Steve is going to come over soon.” Lily cheered, thrilled to be seeing Steve again, and ran off to her room, grabbing her backpack on the way.

“Steve’s coming over?” Tess asked with a sly grin. “So I can assume last night went well.”

Emily couldn’t help the blush that blossomed on her face or the smile that followed. “Would you like a cup of tea and I’ll tell you about it?”

“Sounds great. I have an hour before I have to be at the diner.” Tess hung up her coat and removed her boots.

“How are the roads this morning? It was still snowing when Steve left last night and it didn’t seem like the plows were making a dent.”

“The snow has stopped and the main roads cleared, but a lot of the side roads are still covered,” Tess responded, as they walked into the kitchen. “I’d avoid going out if you don’t have to. It will probably take most of the day to clean up everything. Now,” Tess gave Emily a stern look, raising her eyebrow, “stop changing the subject. How was last night?”

Emily turned away for a moment to fill the kettle and set it on the stove. She felt like she was bursting with emotion, happiness that she hadn’t felt in years coursing through her. Facing Tess, she said, “it was wonderful. He took me to dinner at the ski resort outside town. It was beautiful, all the Christmas decorations, the falling snow. And the food was delicious. After, we came back here and watched a movie.” 

“That’s what you did Ems. How do you feel? How does he feel?”

Emily chewed on her lower lip, trying to figure out what to say. “I feel wonderful. I mean I know it was technically only our first date, but it feels real…and big. I can be me when I’m with him and he likes me.” She shrugged helplessly, “I’m sure not explaining this well.” She didn’t know how to explain the warmth she felt inside from Steve’s easy acceptance of her past, how it had given her the freedom to pursue something new.

“You are explaining it perfectly,” Tess took her hand and held it tightly. Emily savoured the maternal touch, the comfort of Tess’s work roughened hands. “Just from seeing the two of you together, I think it could be real. And he is so good with Lily. Neither of you are the kind of people who want a casual relationship as far as I can tell. But don’t rush, take it as slow as you want.”

“He asked me to be his girlfriend last night,” Emily admitted, unable to keep her smile in. Tess squealed, more like a teenage than a sixty year old woman and Emily laughed, truly happy. “I said yes.”

Tess hugged her tightly, whispering, “I’m so happy for you.” 

“I know it won’t be easy. He has a lot in his past and I have a lot in mine, but maybe we can find a future together.”

“It’s Christmas, a time for all sorts of magic.” Tess and Emily looked at each other silently for a moment then burst out laughing. “I’m sorry Emily, that sounds like a line from a Hallmark movie. But it doesn’t mean that it’s not true.”

Emily smiled, grateful for Tess’s words. In a moment like this, she missed having her mother around to talk about boys and falling in love, but having Tess soothed her heart. “Thank you Tess.” 

The whistle of the kettle rang out. “Let me pour the tea dear.” Tess grabbed two mugs from the drying rack and prepared the drinks. Handing one to Emily, Tess said, “now tell me more about this date.”

They had just finished their tea when Emily heard a knock on the front door. She could feel her heart start to race, anticipation and nerves welling up inside. “That’ll be Steve. I’ll…um…go let him in.”

“Go get your man,” Tess called after her, laughing. 

Emily blushed, shooting a pained look back at her. “Please don’t embarrass him.”

“Darling that is my job as surrogate family,” Tess gave her a cheeky grin.

“You are not surrogate family Tess, you are family.”

Emily could see the glisten of tears in Tess’s eyes. Her voice was a little rough as she said, “you had better get the door before Steve gets too nervous, waiting out there for you.”

Emily hurried to the door, happy that Lily hadn’t run to the door, distracted by the Christmas music playing in her room and her colouring. Pausing in front, she took a deep breath and smoothed her hair, before opening the door. Steve was standing on the porch, twisting his toque in his hands with a slightly nervous smile on his face. He must have just pulled his hat off, his hair sticking up adorably in a few places.

“Hi Steve.” She stepped back to let him in, his presence filling the front hall.

“Good morning Emily.” He slipped his coat off and hung it up as he toed off his shoes. Uncertain what to say now, they stood glancing at each other nervously, like they were in high school instead of fully grown adults. 

Screwing up her courage, she murmured, “I’m really happy you came over today. I’ve missed you, as silly as it sounds.”

How was he so lucky. “I missed you too.” Steve leaned over, pressing a kiss to her cheek and taking her hand. 

Emily couldn’t stop the soft smile from sliding across her face or the tingling on her cheek, where his lips had touched. “Come on in,” she pulled him further into the house. “Tess is here dropping off Lily from their sleepover last night. I’m sorry if she says anything to embarrass you,” Emily whispered.

Steve blanched slightly. He found Tess intimidating, despite her 5 foot frame and graying hair, but she was the closest thing to family that Emily and Lily had. So getting her approval, and Billy’s, was essential if he wanted his relationship with Emily to last. And he did, despite all of the challenges. Besides he’d survived the torment of Tony for years, so he could handle anything that Tess said. 

Any concern for that was brushed aside as Lily ran out of her room at full speed, a smile spread across her face. “Steve!” She jumped at him, Steve dropping Emily’s hand to catch her. “I’m so glad you’re here again.” Lily buried her face in his neck, gripping him tightly. 

Steve relished in the amount of trust in that tiny grip. “Thanks for letting me bake cookies with you today. You are going to have to show me what to do, I have never baked before.”

“I’ll show you what to do,” Lily smiled. “Mom lets me help every time we bake cookies,” Lily lowered her voice to a whisper, “she even lets me lick the bowl.” Steve grinned at her quiet excitement. 

Tess stepped out of the kitchen, joining them. “Hello Steve.”

“Hello Tess. How are you?” Steve asked respectfully.

“I’m doing great Steve, especially given how happy these two are,” Tess shot him a conspiratorial wink. Both Steve and Emily blushed though thankfully Lily didn’t notice. “Anyways I better get out of here and head to the diner.”

Emily pressed a kiss to Tess’s cheek, “thanks for everything. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.” Emily shut the door behind her, turning back to Steve and Lily. “Lily, please go turn off the music in your room and pick up your colouring before we start baking.”

Waiting until she was out of the room, she said, “Steve I want to tell Lily this morning about us dating.” Emily felt like she was never going stop blushing. “I don’t want to hide anything from her or confuse her, if we kiss or something.”

“I think that’s a good idea.” Steve may still be new at dating, but he wanted to be able to be open with Emily. He squeezed her hand tightly, hoping to bolster her courage. And his own. They didn’t have much time to fret as Lily ran back in the room. 

“Lily can you come sit on the couch please?” Emily asked. Lily ran over and hopped up on the couch, Emily and Steve sitting down on either side of her. Emily glanced at Steve nervously, this was never a conversation she thought she’d have to have with Lily. She honestly thought that she would be alone for the rest of her life. Instead this amazing man was sending her a comforting smile. Taking a deep breath, she took Lily’s hand. “Sweetie I wanted to talk to you about something important.” Lily looked up at her, a hint of worry in her eyes. “Steve and I have started dating. Do you know what that means?”

“It means you love each other?” Lily guessed.

“Not quite. It means that we are learning about each other to see if we could one day love each other.” Panicking as she realized that she spoke of love when she and Steve were just starting, “I mean like each other.” 

Steve could tell Emily was about to start rambling so he took Lily’s other hand and waited for her to look at him. “Lily I really like your mom and I would like to spend time with her, to get to know her. Would that be okay with you?” Lily chewed on her bottom lip as she thought. Steve bit back a laugh, she definitely got that from Emily.

Steve dropped his smile immediately as she asked, looking up at him with sad eyes, “does that mean you won’t spend time with me anymore Steve?” 

“Absolutely not. I will definitely be spending time with you too. Sometimes it will be all three of us, sometimes just your mom and I and sometimes, if it’s okay with your mom, it will just be you and I.”

“So it will be the same as it is now?”

Just like a child’s mind to simplify the problem. “Yes baby,” Emily smiled, “it will be the same as now, except Steve and I may hold hands and kiss.” Emily struggled not to blush again.

“Okay,” Lily smiled then jumped off the couch. “Can we bake now?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve relaxed back into the couch, Lily leaning heavily against his side. The lingering scent of their earlier baked cookies was mixing with the fresh Christmasy smell of the tree, creating a perfectly peaceful ambience. He stretched out his arm over Lily to Emily, letting his fingers caress the soft skin on the back of her neck, toy with the curls that had fallen from her ponytail.

Emily glanced over at him with a soft smile. The day had been wonderful, he had been wonderful. Baking cookies, building more snowmen, sledding in the park and now just sitting in front of their tree with Christmas music playing. It felt like a day from a Hallmark movie, a day from her childhood before all the pain and loss. Sitting there together, Emily dreamed of more days like this.

Drawing her attention, Steve whispered, “I think we’ve lost her,” eyes shifting down to Lily, whose head had lolled to one side, a little bit of drool forming in the corner of her mouth. 

Emily bit her lip, trying not to laugh. When Lily went down, she went down hard. Emily pushed off the couch to stand up, “I’ll go put her in bed.”

“Wait,” Steve grabbed her hand before she fully rose. “Can we sit here a little longer? All of us?” 

Her inner monologue was letting out an uncontrollable awww, though she simply nodded, settling back beside them, “absolutely.”


End file.
